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jmolnar

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jmolnar's favorite FMLs

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

#20848315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43830) - you deserved it (21576)

On 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by me (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML

#20844009
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45151) - you deserved it (13906)

On 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56821) - you deserved it (5522)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about how I'm jealous of her best guy friend always hanging around her. She responded by saying, "Wait, I thought you knew I was dating him too?" FML

Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML

#20797604
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51653) - you deserved it (3908)

On 07/22/2013 at 1:47pm - work - by nowimbroketoo (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML

#20788139
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67799) - you deserved it (3952)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:20am - misc - by ilivehere (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally convinced my mum to take me to a psychologist. As soon as he sat me down and asked me how I was doing, my mum burst into tears and went on a rant about how her life is terrible and she regrets everything. I was asked to sit in the waiting room. She used up my whole hour. FML

#20787656
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48390) - you deserved it (3226)

On 07/17/2013 at 1:22am - health - by :-( - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML

#20786950
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45943) - you deserved it (3377)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:41pm - love - by hannahisacooler (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I returned home from an extended vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML

#20761976
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43382) - you deserved it (3200)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55118) - you deserved it (64236)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML

#20708781
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47897) - you deserved it (3165)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by butisavedyourkid - United States

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53406) - you deserved it (4047)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my fiancée told me that she wants us to have an open marriage. She reasons that since she doesn't equate sex with love, there's no logical reason for me to be against her having sex with other people. FML

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84927) - you deserved it (8099)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I realized that the smell of chlorine has started to turn me on, probably because my girlfriend has an indoor pool in her house. Guess who works as a swim instructor. FML

#20552149
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41117) - you deserved it (5743)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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