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jmcr

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jmcr
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 534
  • Number of comments : 327
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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jmcr's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk on my Facebook timeline by my senile mother. 5ML

#21038727
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40901) - you deserved it (3783)

On 01/24/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML

#21033078
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46127) - you deserved it (9052)

On 01/19/2014 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

#21031998
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30250) - you deserved it (50979)

On 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52963) - you deserved it (4597)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML

#21027629
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24779) - you deserved it (42501)

On 01/14/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by ===== (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

#21019316
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46234) - you deserved it (15915)

On 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm - animals - by Z3R0G5 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

#21017728
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39078) - you deserved it (31456)

On 01/05/2014 at 11:16am - love - by give me an F - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML

#21016206
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41449) - you deserved it (18886)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML

#21014763
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41772) - you deserved it (8229)

On 01/02/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by FMLPLZ (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I caught my neighbor picking my flowers out of the planter on my porch. When I said something to her, she ran off and knocked over the planter, smashing it. She is now acting like nothing happened. FML

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

#21010264
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42421) - you deserved it (21678)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

#21001381
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36799) - you deserved it (8286)

On 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

#21001267
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45792) - you deserved it (6272)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by bleach bleach bleach (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after finals, my English professor left me less than one percent from an A. Why? All semester long, he took away points because my opinions did not match his. FML



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