Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jmcr

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

jmcr

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1800
  • Number of comments : 340
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jmcr's page activity

Visits<b>Ichiya</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 9:27pm<b>yehyeh</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 11:16pm<b>xKrisSmoove</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:29am<b>cluch3</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 6:17pm<b>sisas</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 10:28am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 3:27pm<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 9:15am<b>missblove</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 6:04am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:18am<b>LOVELEIGH2112</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 12:22pm<b>marstree19</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 7:25am<b>Vegetarian27</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 9:29am<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 7:18pm<b>maxx1222</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 11:28am<b>Blade12337</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 5:24pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 6:37pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:09am

jmcr's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of jmcr's badges

jmcr's favorite FMLs

Today, my 6-year-old son asked me what a "sex toy" was. Not really knowing what to tell him, I said it was a game. He's asked for one for Christmas. FML

#21318917
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17514) - you deserved it (5649) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/17/2014 at 12:29am - intimacy - by marie0908 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

#21315060
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31857) - you deserved it (2471)

On 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

#21315008
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31676) - you deserved it (3161)

On 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by unlovedandunfucked (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend decided to treat me out to dinner and cake for my birthday. My mom felt left out and yelled at my girlfriend in an angry tirade. My girlfriend went home. I'm spending my birthday, alone in my room. FML

#21313391
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31105) - you deserved it (2366)

On 12/07/2014 at 9:18pm - misc - by Haitwun (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

#21312768
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37688) - you deserved it (2223)

On 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML

#21312671
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30678) - you deserved it (2948)

On 12/06/2014 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

#21309848
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32038) - you deserved it (4274)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:40am - intimacy - by justagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while walking home with my mom, some unoriginal cockshart in a passing car yelled at me: "Fuck her in the pussy!" It was a long, awkward walk home after that. FML

#21308349
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28745) - you deserved it (2482)

On 11/29/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

#21303819
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32288) - you deserved it (3747)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

#21303774
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33515) - you deserved it (3689)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:44am - love - by drop dead single (woman) - United States

Today, the girl I'd been dating online for 6 months told me she was a guy. I said it was alright, and that I was still in love. Then she confessed she really was a girl, and was just trying to make me dump her so she wouldn't be the "bad guy". FML

#21303306
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35773) - you deserved it (6522)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:18pm - love - by Recluse (man) -

Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML

#21302784
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32320) - you deserved it (3541)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my sister's fiancé. I would have been happier for her if he hadn't been mine a month ago when I introduced them. FML

#21301904
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37979) - you deserved it (2605)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:27am - love - by MissAggravared - United States (Idaho)

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30226) - you deserved it (3051)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: