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jls4592

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jls4592

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  • Number of visits : 224
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jls4592's page activity

Visits<b>Dorkninja</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 12:32am

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jls4592's favorite FMLs

Today, after a conference with my teacher who had previously accused me of not doing my homework, she finally discovered she'd been losing it all this time. I've been getting straight Fs for a month. FML

#17680724
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (2078)

On 09/06/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by purpleivy (woman) - United States

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

#16293589
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73888) - you deserved it (3821)

On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

#16271302
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39808) - you deserved it (4118)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11311) - you deserved it (63441)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33530) - you deserved it (9595)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said "you know you can't wash and reuse these." FML

#15846641
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25841) - you deserved it (20524)

On 04/19/2011 at 12:19pm - misc - by killercow - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

#15791690
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20693) - you deserved it (52363)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:34am - intimacy - by fmyhabit - United States (Utah)

Today, I arrived twenty minutes early for my opening shift at work, so I decided to turn on the radio and wait in my nice warm car. I woke up two hours later with twelve missed calls from my boss and a dead car battery. FML

#15646476
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16805) - you deserved it (34007)

On 04/05/2011 at 1:10am - work - by 4themoneh - United States (California)

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46877) - you deserved it (13887)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

#15616538
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19343) - you deserved it (53291)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

#15598918
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33488) - you deserved it (45144)

On 04/02/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Toothy (man) - United States (California)

Today, just a few minutes after I got to work, my usually laconic boss came into my office and said, "Pack your stuff and get the f*ck out." Apparently, half my department was being downsized. Thinking it was an April Fool's, I burst out laughing and told him how funny the prank was. He wasn't kidding. FML

#15587830
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31350) - you deserved it (4093)

On 04/01/2011 at 10:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48755) - you deserved it (27505)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

#15415260
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30015) - you deserved it (52070)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by fffmmll - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

#15412642
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35984) - you deserved it (3857)

On 03/21/2011 at 6:57am - health - by anti-drugs - United Kingdom



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