jkmartinjk

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jkmartinjk

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4513
  • Number of comments : 399
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 28 posted

About jkmartinjk : Stay cool everybody.

jkmartinjk's page activity

Visits<b>Bliepje</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 1:45am<b>elmerjudd</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 3:14pm<b>flyingflies</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 6:52am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 7:56am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 3:25pm<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 11:46am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 1:32pm<b>Kaguya99</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 5:44pm<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 7:49pm<b>MasonSoccer23</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 12:05am<b>arealsexybitch</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 6:06pm<b>whatahatuis</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 6:26pm<b>Cdwoods</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 1:30am<b>10220706</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 11:29am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 5:23am<b>ballsacks33</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 2:48am<b>yourmomshotfirst</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 6:38pm<b>TheAspieDork</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 7:04pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 7:31pm<b>jitterbug1503</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 7:34pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 4:53am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 5:37am<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 8:35pm<b>TiredOfThePain</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 3:03am

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jkmartinjk's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML

by bluehairedfreakgirl / 05/31/2009 at 11:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with a hangover after an intense night out. I decided to look at my camera to figure out what happened the night before. All my pictures were deleted except one video of me dancing to Lollipop by Lil Wayne, and giving a lapdance and head to my giant plush rat. FML

by crunkdrunk / 05/31/2009 at 1:48am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML

by PiZzA_FaCe / 05/29/2009 at 5:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my girlfriend and I went down to the pier. I brought an empty bottle and some paper, and we both constructed a massive letter expressing our passionate love for each other. We stuck it in the bottle, and threw it out to sea, only to see it explode in slow motion on a protruding rock. FML

by CastAway / 05/23/2009 at 8:16pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I brought some cupcakes to my class for my birthday, like all the cool kids do. When it came time to sing happy birthday, the entire class said "happy birthday to" then forgot my name. Except my teacher. She said Steve. My name's Jeff. FML

by theman / 05/21/2009 at 4:49pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

by Ohshit / 05/17/2009 at 2:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML

by TayTay / 05/16/2009 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

by david / 04/28/2009 at 10:08am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, I had to go visit my grandma. While in her bathroom, the floss I was using cut my gum, I then proceded to make sounds of slight pain. My grandma was, at the same moment, walking by and said "Don't masturbate in side of my bathroom you sick teen!" Now my grandma thinks I am a pervert. FML

by bongoboy / 04/25/2009 at 3:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's my daughter". FML

by brob56 / 04/22/2009 at 11:11pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML

by Nikki / 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

by ashleyevans / 04/04/2009 at 10:45am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous