About jkmartinjk : Stay cool everybody.
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jkmartinjk's favorite FMLs
by FingerBang / 10/21/2009 at 2:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/12/2009 at 4:57pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, we had a lockdown in our school for 2 hours because a man was sitting outside our school in his car with a gun in hand. I texted my mom telling her what was going on and that it's on the news. She responded saying "I'll tape it". FML
by dannyboy1422 / 10/02/2009 at 3:17pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML
by Anonymous / 09/10/2009 at 2:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2009 at 9:23am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
by bubbalicious / 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by verysadasian / 07/30/2009 at 10:21am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend of a month had to leave early. I asked him why and he replied that his brother was getting off the bus and he needed to feed him. I had never met his brother, and I said "He can't feed himself? What is he, retarded?" He is. FML
by Anonymous / 07/09/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML
by Nicole / 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I got an email from a guy to whom I sold my old phone to over eBay. Turns out I forgot to delete the nude photos of myself and my boyfriend that I had stored up. His email asked me for "any PIN numbers needed to use the phone, and oh by the way, nice tits." FML
by paprikarulz / 07/01/2009 at 6:31am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
by poormom / 06/27/2009 at 12:05am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/17/2009 at 12:25am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy