About jkmartinjk : Stay cool everybody.
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jkmartinjk's favorite FMLs
by fattysonparade / 07/20/2010 at 9:57pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Health
by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals
Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML
by Myzyri / 06/08/2010 at 3:11am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by mugged / 06/01/2010 at 7:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my girlfriend of five and a half years to family dinner at a restaurant. After we all had finished dessert, I got down on one knee, pulled out my great grandmother's ring and proposed. The entire restaurant was dead silent. She looked around and then slowly walked out. FML
by Anonymous / 03/17/2010 at 11:38am / United States (Rhode Island) / Love
by Tibblesthepengwin / 02/14/2010 at 12:43pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to a female friend online. She was typing out a story bit by bit about how awful she was feeling after being teased. I was responding with "So, so true" but because of my slow typing it appeared after she wrote, "Doesn't help being fat." FML
by Oops / 02/06/2010 at 3:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on my grandparents' computer looking for my old high school resume. I came across a word document titled "Experiences". Thinking it was part of my resume, I opened it up and started reading. It was a brief, yet explicit record of my grandfather's recent sexual frustrations. FML
by nick / 01/28/2010 at 12:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
by Ben / 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by errrmkl46 / 12/02/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML
by stubble / 11/13/2009 at 1:26am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
Today, for my birthday, my friends and family gave me: A Wii Fit, a free year at the gym and a book of diet recipes. They didn't consult with each other. I've asked for "something corresponding to me". FML
by Timetoloseweight / 11/11/2009 at 11:03am / Health
Today, I played with the white dust on the counter at work for the last time. After a couple of weeks of arriving to a thin coating of dust over the counter, and drawing in it, piling it up and other such fun things, I met the guy who now does the earlier shift. He has a huge, dandruffy beard. FML
by JustEwww / 10/22/2009 at 5:24pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…