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jkmartinjk

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jkmartinjk
  • Town/Country : Eh, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1106
  • Number of comments : 343
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About jkmartinjk : Stay cool everybody.

jkmartinjk's last visitors

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jkmartinjk's favorite FMLs

Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML

#17818557
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40080) - you deserved it (4102)

On 09/24/2011 at 3:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I tried to stop a teenage boy from entering the woman's bathroom. When he argued with me I had him thrown out. Turns out, according to their parents and driver's license, it was a girl. FML

#17780455
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9464) - you deserved it (37110)

On 09/19/2011 at 1:24pm - misc - by fluke - United States (Florida)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53210) - you deserved it (5251)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML

#17762644
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16093) - you deserved it (45870)

On 09/17/2011 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my wife compared me to Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Same smile, same eyes, same belly, same big feet. FML

#17629436
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21210) - you deserved it (4773)

On 08/31/2011 at 12:25pm - love - by faceless_sailor8 - United States

Today, my grandmother sat me down and gave me a talk about the importance of personal hygiene. According to her, it's important that I shower twice a day, because "Fat people tend to have a most curious smell about them." FML

#17522929
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25024) - you deserved it (10290)

On 08/19/2011 at 8:22pm - health - by Username - United States

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

#17516529
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38560) - you deserved it (2654)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by leftwardfoil (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML

#17512926
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24867) - you deserved it (7302)

On 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by BigmouthStrikesAgain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

#17508595
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32685) - you deserved it (2262)

On 08/18/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

#17470290
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24305) - you deserved it (9032)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8168) - you deserved it (53878)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, at a campfire, I whipped out my guitar to serenade this girl I like with a Nick Drake song. When I was done, she said it was nice, but that my singing voice sounds a bit like the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show. A couple of people nearby burst out laughing in agreement. FML

#17290370
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21568) - you deserved it (5661)

On 07/28/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by Branski - United States

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24362) - you deserved it (3977)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML

#17207535
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11560) - you deserved it (32281)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by ohmygosh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

#17187875
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35759) - you deserved it (5026)

On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)



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