Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jkmartinjk

Search for a member

jkmartinjk

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1572
  • Number of comments : 383
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 28 posted

About jkmartinjk : Stay cool everybody.

jkmartinjk's page activity

Visits<b>starbarbazar</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Iwtumn</b> - yesterday at 1:16pm<b>savery</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 1:58pm<b>Timmy1228</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 7:13pm<b>foster_hack</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:59pm<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:47pm<b>maxz</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:23pm<b>Swedish_Eagle</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 3:07pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 7:14am<b>ChelzTheWolfGirl</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:48pm<b>ellystubbs</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 6:55pm<b>Antonhjn</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 2:08pm<b>pooispoois</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:55am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:43am<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 5:03am<b>PeartOfNeils</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 12:05am<b>I_Am_Melanie</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 11:23pm<b>justnotworthit3</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 10:57pm

jkmartinjk's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of jkmartinjk's badges

jkmartinjk's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

#17919622
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38733) - you deserved it (9989)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML

#17818557
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42793) - you deserved it (4359)

On 09/24/2011 at 3:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I tried to stop a teenage boy from entering the woman's bathroom. When he argued with me I had him thrown out. Turns out, according to their parents and driver's license, it was a girl. FML

#17780455
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10256) - you deserved it (39558)

On 09/19/2011 at 1:24pm - misc - by fluke - United States (Florida)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54785) - you deserved it (5405)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML

#17762644
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16727) - you deserved it (46941)

On 09/17/2011 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my wife compared me to Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Same smile, same eyes, same belly, same big feet. FML

#17629436
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24274) - you deserved it (5120)

On 08/31/2011 at 12:25pm - love - by faceless_sailor8 - United States

Today, my grandmother sat me down and gave me a talk about the importance of personal hygiene. According to her, it's important that I shower twice a day, because "Fat people tend to have a most curious smell about them." FML

#17522929
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26381) - you deserved it (10722)

On 08/19/2011 at 8:22pm - health - by Username - United States

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

#17516529
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41295) - you deserved it (2854)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by leftwardfoil (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML

#17512926
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26386) - you deserved it (7512)

On 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by BigmouthStrikesAgain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

#17508595
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37643) - you deserved it (3002)

On 08/18/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

#17470290
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26216) - you deserved it (9366)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9958) - you deserved it (71248)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, at a campfire, I whipped out my guitar to serenade this girl I like with a Nick Drake song. When I was done, she said it was nice, but that my singing voice sounds a bit like the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show. A couple of people nearby burst out laughing in agreement. FML

#17290370
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24427) - you deserved it (6131)

On 07/28/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by Branski - United States

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26017) - you deserved it (4139)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML

#17207535
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13808) - you deserved it (43128)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by ohmygosh - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: