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jkmartinjk

Offline (the 10/17/2014 at 4:18am) | Search for a member

jkmartinjk

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1884
  • Number of comments : 395
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 28 posted

About jkmartinjk : Stay cool everybody.

jkmartinjk's page activity

Visits<b>livelifefmll</b> - yesterday at 5:47pm<b>DoctorWatson</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 5:03pm<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:05am<b>cwrocker</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 6:03pm<b>gantoman</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 7:19pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 12:15pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 12:03pm<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 9:21am<b>AmexBlack</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:25pm<b>hailey2649</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 12:39am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 4:57pm<b>Shemermergbergin</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 2:00pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 11:15am<b>abattior</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 12:11am<b>benjb99</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:17am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 6:08pm<b>Le_Rabbid</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 9:10pm<b>max5692</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 8:36pm

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jkmartinjk's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19755) - you deserved it (36444)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML

#20430574
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37964) - you deserved it (2311)

On 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm - love - by melas303 - United States

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45734) - you deserved it (25156)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41733) - you deserved it (8167)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML

#20062154
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12563) - you deserved it (24009)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:32pm - misc - by Gurl - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21888) - you deserved it (5802)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28043) - you deserved it (2715) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

#19279551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34281) - you deserved it (2478)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17167) - you deserved it (29487)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

#18438715
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18653) - you deserved it (17297)

On 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

#18438715
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18653) - you deserved it (17297)

On 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

#18398754
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31344) - you deserved it (3785)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

#18398754
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31344) - you deserved it (3785)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

#18128656
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47206) - you deserved it (5392)

On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

#18087484
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32197) - you deserved it (7954)

On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)



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