jkmartinjk

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jkmartinjk

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4072
  • Number of comments : 399
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 28 posted

About jkmartinjk : Stay cool everybody.

jkmartinjk's page activity

Visits<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 7:49pm<b>MasonSoccer23</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 12:05am<b>arealsexybitch</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 6:06pm<b>whatahatuis</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 6:26pm<b>Cdwoods</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 1:30am<b>10220706</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 11:29am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 5:23am<b>ballsacks33</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 2:48am<b>yourmomshotfirst</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 6:38pm<b>TheAspieDork</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 7:04pm<b>PlsNarwals</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 12:50am<b>powerkeep</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 8:56pm<b>heroqucas</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 5:45am<b>jitterbug1503</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:34pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 8:30pm<b>Esoomian</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 11:23pm<b>ASubtleHuman</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 7:58am<b>weedle99</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 6:52am

Fucked!<b>jitterbug1503</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 7:34pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 4:53am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 5:37am<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 8:35pm<b>TiredOfThePain</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 3:03am

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jkmartinjk's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

by I think its dead / 01/15/2013 at 2:33am / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML

by melas303 / 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm / United States / Love

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Intimacy

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

by anonymaiacciu / 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm / France / Intimacy

Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML

by Gurl / 09/07/2012 at 6:32pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

by anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 10:09am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

by Monsieur-Madame / 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Love

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

by CallaC / 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

by Miss_Kristen / 02/26/2012 at 10:31am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

by ifeeldirty / 10/27/2011 at 8:22am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy