About jjmiller1001 : I ain't no effin dog! I will now take questions. groverP KiK
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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51148) - you deserved it (6147)
On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States
Today, my laziness hit a new low when I sat on an unopened folding chair to avoid the effort of opening it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12010) - you deserved it (40318)
On 04/13/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by mets300 - United States (New York)
Today, it is my birthday. Since my parents are in the middle of a divorce, my mom thought it was perfectly reasonable to burn the gifts my dad got for me in the fireplace. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45251) - you deserved it (2156)
On 04/07/2013 at 5:19am - misc - by child of a crazed women (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37576) - you deserved it (2750)
On 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by flea-bitten (woman) - United States
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34096) - you deserved it (2279)
On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11438) - you deserved it (42776)
On 03/30/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by crunknasty - United States (California)
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23047) - you deserved it (5591)
On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)
Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28965) - you deserved it (4213)
On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8117) - you deserved it (32825) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22060) - you deserved it (1733)
On 02/18/2013 at 3:24am - intimacy - by buxton1 - United States (California)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28222) - you deserved it (6234)
On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20471) - you deserved it (4602)
On 10/28/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Ceej - United States (Michigan)
Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20471) - you deserved it (4602)
On 10/28/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Ceej - United States (Michigan)
Today, my friend and I were walking home when we saw a patch of wet cement. Taking a page out of every single Disney movie ever made, we wrote our names in it. What Disney movies don't show is when the neighbors tattle on you and you have to pay $500 to get the cement redone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6450) - you deserved it (23666)
On 10/24/2012 at 10:36pm - money - by onlyme (woman) - United States
Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30088) - you deserved it (2505)
On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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