This member hasn't filled in their description.
jjj1314's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
jjj1314's favorite FMLs
by AnonCat / 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML
by datingablonde / 01/11/2013 at 12:20am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
by Anonymous / 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm / Netherlands (Groningen) / Kids
by Raela / 01/04/2013 at 11:59am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
by toritoratora / 11/26/2012 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
by anon / 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
by lea5459 / 11/20/2012 at 1:47am / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML
by Anonymous / 11/17/2012 at 7:41pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML
by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 5:00am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Kids
by myfamilyisodd / 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by Vinny1017 / 10/07/2010 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…
- Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him… Today, I met an old friend, with whom I have a complicated history and we hooked up. He came before… Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself…