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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6870) - you deserved it (34683)
On 01/29/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my crush of over a year came over for me to take her on our first date. Today was also the day my drunk parents decided to dance the chicken dance in our front yard, naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25749) - you deserved it (1907)
On 01/11/2010 at 1:12pm - love - by JK2010 (man) - Israel (Hefa)
Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (7583) - you deserved it (33650)
On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22996) - you deserved it (5545)
On 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my english teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5346) - you deserved it (46845)
On 10/02/2009 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9848) - you deserved it (29147)
On 10/01/2009 at 1:58am - health - by Garrett (man) - United States (Oregon) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51897) - you deserved it (3372)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33774) - you deserved it (2173)
On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was playing hide and seek with my eight year old cousin. For the past two turns, he had been hiding in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom lights on, yet again, and opened the door with a triumphant "AHA!" It was my Grandma, taking a smelly dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12025) - you deserved it (24433)
On 09/23/2009 at 6:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore
Today, I was at my friends house for the first time in months. I saw her newest chihuahua dog, Mickey, and he was excited that new people were over. I picked him up and slightly bounced him in the air. Because of the bounce and his excitement, he peed a little bit, straight into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11343) - you deserved it (20510)
On 09/23/2009 at 1:55am - animals - by GreatAim - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 0.50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6569) - you deserved it (69594)
On 09/21/2009 at 2:06am - love - by FreeOfCharge (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28065) - you deserved it (2260)
On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15359) - you deserved it (68100)
On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50122) - you deserved it (2484)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34333) - you deserved it (2902)
On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)
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