jinunit

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jinunit

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 592
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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jinunit's FML badges

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jinunit's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

by Nails / 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML

by Jim Smith / 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML

by Noname / 02/19/2009 at 6:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was secretly listening to a voicemail from my mom in maths class when I accidentally hit the speaker phone button. My whole math class now knows I have a gyno appointment at 9:45 on March 11. FML

by Noname / 02/18/2009 at 10:43am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML

by silkytaco / 02/17/2009 at 12:11pm / United States (Hawaii) / Geek

Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "no that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML

by IBleedArbor / 02/16/2009 at 5:59pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML

by mags / 02/16/2009 at 10:05am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

by Noname / 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I cancelled out of a video chat with my boyfriend to go take a dump. I took my computer with me to look at Facebook. It took three minutes for me to realize I was still on video chat. FML

by videochat / 02/14/2009 at 6:05pm / United States (Vermont) / Geek

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

by Shamu / 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML

by samrodpuertorico / 02/13/2009 at 3:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example, he responded, "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of Warcraft." FML

by Noname / 02/12/2009 at 10:46pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

by peacock_mina19 / 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

by JLoistheBomb / 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, My roommate texted me and warned me to be careful on the stairs leading to our place because they were icy. I got the message. After I fell down an entire flight of stone stairs. FML

by CBM2012 / 02/06/2009 at 11:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous