jillz

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jillz

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 56554
  • Number of comments : 333
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jillz : Hey! YOU there. That's right. I see you. *grins* Has anyone told you how much you ROCK lately? No? Hm......

jillz's page activity

Visits<b>Allornone</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 1:03am<b>COL_Obvious</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 3:53am<b>BlackRosey_</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 12:15am<b>Buuged</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 7:30am<b>IAm123</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 2:31pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 3:46pm<b>Nail7777</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 7:00am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 7:30am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 1:56am<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 3:19pm<b>rocketgurl</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 6:49pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 7:28pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 3:43pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 12:02am<b>mip_92</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:53pm<b>FML_Posts_daily</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 4:32am<b>abbyj2201</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 2:22am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 4:36pm

Fucked!<b>COL_Obvious</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 9:53am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 1:30pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 7:56am<b>kayzers</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:43pm

jillz's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jillz's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I was showing my new iPhone case to my friends, saying how it was scratchproof, shockproof, and waterproof. I demonstrated it by dropping it on the sidewalk from about 5 feet. It bounced onto the road. Apparently, its not truck-proof. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 3:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had organised to go for an all day fishing trip, but had forgotten to book a day off. I called my boss and told him that I had to stay with my mum in hospital after a car crash that she had last night. He called me a liar and fired me. Turns out my mum is having an affair with my boss. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 7:32am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Work

Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML

by sonofmilf / 05/17/2009 at 1:46am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 1:17am / United States (Rhode Island) / Transportation

Today, my friend Kate and I were helping build a playground. Halfway through, a construction worker asks where we go to school. I told him we graduated and proudly held degrees in psych. The construction worker stopped mid-dig, glanced at us sadly and said, "yeah that's what my degree's in too." FML

by blairheir721 / 05/17/2009 at 12:20am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML

by bosssssssss765432 / 05/16/2009 at 11:20am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML

by penguinsfan / 05/16/2009 at 10:47am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying "I'm good" or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

by UncleRory / 05/16/2009 at 5:13am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stayed up all night to study for my anatomy final at 9 a.m. I studied outside the testing room in the hall all night. Apparently I feel asleep with my headphones as my friend woke me up after walking out of the test asking how I did. 300 classmates walked by and no one woke me up. FML

by peoplesuck / 05/14/2009 at 3:51am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML

by chelserusera / 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I decided to shave my legs completely to be more confident in my dress. I spent over an hour making sure my legs were perfectly shaved. It wasn't until I had been out awhile that I realized I forgot to shave my armpits. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple. Not the computer, the fruit. FML

by anon / 05/13/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 4:56pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was in line for Star Trek and chatting with another couple about a guy who came to the movie wearing a Starfleet uniform. We were having a good snicker about this "Geek" until my cell phone rang. My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator. FML

by Ottawa / 05/12/2009 at 10:11am / Canada (Ontario) / Geek