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jillz

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jillz
  • Town/Country : Key West
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 53852
  • Number of comments : 333
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jillz : Hey! YOU there. That's right. I see you. *grins* Has anyone told you how much you ROCK lately? No? Hm......

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jillz's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I went down to the pier. I brought an empty bottle and some paper, and we both constructed a massive letter expressing our passionate love for each other. We stuck it in the bottle, and threw it out to sea, only to see it explode in slow motion on a protruding rock. FML

#2220782
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37400) - you deserved it (10115)

On 05/23/2009 at 8:16pm - love - by CastAway (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I thought I'd finally make a step towards getting over my ex-fiancé by flirting with a cute waiter. I left him a note on the bill. He comes back, says "which one of you is [name]?" and leans down close to me to say, "Thanks for your note, but your card was declined." FML

#2203706
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45176) - you deserved it (7158)

On 05/23/2009 at 2:43am - love - by Mel (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while installing a deadbolt on my closet, I did it wrong. It closed but wouldn't lock so I had to re-install it. Sitting on the floor of my closet, I shut it to make sure it was installed correctly. I locked myself in for twenty minutes, home alone, before kicking the door down. FML

Today, I was visiting my sick grandmother in the hospital when my cousin and I were playing in some empty wheelchairs. After goofing off I said, "They're fun, but I would kill myself if I was in a wheelchair." A little boy rounded the corner and said, "Tell me about it." He was in a wheelchair. FML

#2138736
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9500) - you deserved it (70938)

On 05/21/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by boyo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

#2137630
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46954) - you deserved it (2073)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by verycre8tive (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

#2123826
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15953) - you deserved it (56112)

On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking around my house without a shirt on after my shower. I picked up my cat and walked around the corner... Just as my dad turned on the vacuum. Now I have 6 rather deep bloody holes in my shoulder and chest. FML

#2113769
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39142) - you deserved it (7334)

On 05/20/2009 at 3:12pm - animals - by vitalcheese (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because "She wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

#2095201
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60804) - you deserved it (3349)

On 05/19/2009 at 9:21pm - kids - by bopbop (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML

#2082819
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37982) - you deserved it (24122)

On 05/19/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by Deconstructed (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, whilst presenting a report to the head of my college, I was arrested by a police officer for assault. I was in a bar the night before and accidentally bumped into a local tough guy on the way to the toilet. I got punched in the face. The witnesses got our names mixed up. That'll look great on my CV. FML

#2073535
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44394) - you deserved it (2309)

On 05/19/2009 at 3:46am - work - by AntSimo (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I was drying off with a towel after coming in from outside. I noticed that the bathroom smelled like cat pee, so I sniffed all around to find out where my cat peed. Turns out, he peed on the towel that I was drying myself off with. FML

#2071400
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42590) - you deserved it (6888)

On 05/19/2009 at 1:19am - animals - by Tcake (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was drying off with a towel after coming in from outside. I noticed that the bathroom smelled like cat pee, so I sniffed all around to find out where my cat peed. Turns out, he peed on the towel that I was drying myself off with. FML

#2071400
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42590) - you deserved it (6888)

On 05/19/2009 at 1:19am - animals - by Tcake (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

#2059220
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69083) - you deserved it (2992)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, on the way to work, I pulled over at a postbox to post a letter. I walked up to the box with the letter in one hand, car key in the other. Guess which one I posted. FML

#2050004
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35402) - you deserved it (23233)

On 05/18/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by Posty (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. As part of my presents, my parents gave me prepaid debit card. When I got home, I looked at it again and realized it's the debit card you get from selling back books to our university bookstore. I bought my own books this year. They gave me my own refund. FML

#2039124
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39621) - you deserved it (2294)

On 05/18/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)



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