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jillz

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jillz
  • Town/Country : Key West
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 53304
  • Number of comments : 333
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jillz : Hey! YOU there. That's right. I see you. *grins* Has anyone told you how much you ROCK lately? No? Hm......

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jillz's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband passed a massive kidney stone. He is so proud of it that he wants to decorate our home with it. It is now sitting on my kitchen counter next to my produce. FML

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

#3241027
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39486) - you deserved it (23808)

On 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by LondonKitsch (woman) - United States

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

#3232657
698 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73973) - you deserved it (15174)

On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML

#3091991
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7300) - you deserved it (47324)

On 06/21/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by creepyeyes (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML

#3074596
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34358) - you deserved it (12116)

On 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by meantowheels (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at my job in a chemists, I had a customer ask me which acne cream I would recommend. I picked up the brand I use and told her that I've been using it for a year now. After pausing to stare at my face for a second, she thanked me and picked up the competing brand instead. FML

#2966827
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34058) - you deserved it (4449)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I reached into my fridge to grab a strawberry soda. I noticed the can had started to leak from the top so I slurped up the spilt red liquid on the top of the can. I realized it wasn't soda, but blood from a defrosting steak on the shelf above it. FML

#2929872
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43327) - you deserved it (18573)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by kjmsit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was being pulled into a pool by my girlfriend. To avoid ruining my phone, I tossed it into one of the chairs behind me. I missed and it landed into the hot tub behind it. FML

#2912721
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37275) - you deserved it (7465)

On 06/15/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by WetPhone (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to water my entire garden. After an exhausting hour of watering hundreds of plants, I turned off the hose and started to feel good about the grueling job. That is, until it started pouring rain. FML

#2888954
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37034) - you deserved it (11487)

On 06/14/2009 at 4:39pm - misc - by Rainman (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to a hospital in Uganda, where I'm working with an NGO for the summer. I had a high fever and other symptoms of malaria. They gave me a test, and I don't have malaria. I am now however sick from the water they gave me to wash down a medication to reduce fever. FML

#2880458
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35547) - you deserved it (2450)

On 06/14/2009 at 7:08am - health - by MalariaFree (woman) - Uganda (Kampala)

Today, I introduced my ex-wife to my new girlfriend. They got along so well that my new girlfriend is going to my ex-wife's house tonight "just to hang out". FML

Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML

#2774700
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9984) - you deserved it (52713)

On 06/10/2009 at 3:42pm - work - by crosseyed (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I had to play the role of superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML

#2769644
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64094) - you deserved it (4982)

On 06/10/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by superman_not (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, a guy from my school came into my work. I knew him but forgot his name. I didn't want to be rude and ask for his name when he probably expected me to know it. So, thinking I was clever, I said "How do you spell your name again?". His name was Rob. FML

#2734791
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10370) - you deserved it (38695)

On 06/09/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by purrtygirl (woman) - United States (California)



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