jillz

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jillz

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 56541
  • Number of comments : 333
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jillz : Hey! YOU there. That's right. I see you. *grins* Has anyone told you how much you ROCK lately? No? Hm......

jillz's page activity

Visits<b>Allornone</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 1:03am<b>COL_Obvious</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 3:53am<b>BlackRosey_</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 12:15am<b>Buuged</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 7:30am<b>IAm123</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 2:31pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 3:46pm<b>Nail7777</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 7:00am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 7:30am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 1:56am<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 3:19pm<b>rocketgurl</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 6:49pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 7:28pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 3:43pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 12:02am<b>mip_92</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 10:53pm<b>FML_Posts_daily</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 4:32am<b>abbyj2201</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 2:22am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 4:36pm

Fucked!<b>COL_Obvious</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 9:53am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 1:30pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 7:56am<b>kayzers</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:43pm

jillz's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jillz's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband passed a massive kidney stone. He is so proud of it that he wants to decorate our home with it. It is now sitting on my kitchen counter next to my produce. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2009 at 10:52am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

by LondonKitsch / 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

by ILuvYouSoldiers / 06/26/2009 at 3:57am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML

by creepyeyes / 06/21/2009 at 2:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML

by meantowheels / 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my job in a chemists, I had a customer ask me which acne cream I would recommend. I picked up the brand I use and told her that I've been using it for a year now. After pausing to stare at my face for a second, she thanked me and picked up the competing brand instead. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2009 at 12:32pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Work

Today, I reached into my fridge to grab a strawberry soda. I noticed the can had started to leak from the top so I slurped up the spilt red liquid on the top of the can. I realized it wasn't soda, but blood from a defrosting steak on the shelf above it. FML

by kjmsit / 06/16/2009 at 12:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was being pulled into a pool by my girlfriend. To avoid ruining my phone, I tossed it into one of the chairs behind me. I missed and it landed into the hot tub behind it. FML

by WetPhone / 06/15/2009 at 2:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to water my entire garden. After an exhausting hour of watering hundreds of plants, I turned off the hose and started to feel good about the grueling job. That is, until it started pouring rain. FML

by Rainman / 06/14/2009 at 4:39pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a hospital in Uganda, where I'm working with an NGO for the summer. I had a high fever and other symptoms of malaria. They gave me a test, and I don't have malaria. I am now however sick from the water they gave me to wash down a medication to reduce fever. FML

by MalariaFree / 06/14/2009 at 7:08am / Uganda (Kampala) / Health

Today, my adorable 8 year old son told me he no longer wanted me to pick him up from school. When I asked why, he said, "I told everyone at school my mommy is pretty... and I don't want people to know I lied." FML

by andthatshowitgoes / 06/14/2009 at 1:42am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I introduced my ex-wife to my new girlfriend. They got along so well that my new girlfriend is going to my ex-wife's house tonight "just to hang out". FML

by Michael / 06/13/2009 at 6:35am / United States (West Virginia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML

by crosseyed / 06/10/2009 at 3:42pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Work

Today, I had to play the role of superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML

by superman_not / 06/10/2009 at 11:46am / United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy from my school came into my work. I knew him but forgot his name. I didn't want to be rude and ask for his name when he probably expected me to know it. So, thinking I was clever, I said "How do you spell your name again?". His name was Rob. FML

by purrtygirl / 06/09/2009 at 2:44am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous