Grace & Mark, if you guys ever read this, You Rock! I don't know what I'd do without you guys!
Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML
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On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend whom I love dearly because he doesn't share his feelings and won't commit. Yesterday, he wrote me a long love letter telling me he wanted to marry me. One of my kids had shoved it under my printer and I didn't find it until after he had moved out. FML
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On 11/16/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by lynxstorm - United States (Illinois)
Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss' wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men". I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML
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On 11/16/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by bad_day_in_hell - United States (Montana)
Today, I was looking at the annoucements in the newspaper and find out that my boyfriend of the past 6 years is supposed to be married in 2 days to what I thought was his ex-girlfriend. FML
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On 11/16/2009 at 11:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while I was in the middle of making love with my boyfriend, I mentioned bringing another lady in the picture to spice it up. He looked at me and said "let's ask your sister." He then got dressed and called her. FML
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On 11/16/2009 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by 3sacrowd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend decided to be romantic and literally sweep me off my feet... directly into a door frame. Now my face is bruised, and the police officer at my school has asked me if I need to make a report about anything. FML
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On 11/16/2009 at 8:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, some obnoxious guys started calling me ugly. I tried to ignore them and be the bigger person. That's pretty hard to do when they start throwing rocks at you. FML
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On 11/16/2009 at 6:39am - kids - by x0SoReckless0x (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
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On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, after dating for almost five years, my boyfriend stated that I have a "perfect and amazing personality" but that my looks are not what he "envisioned himself spending the rest of his life with." In other words, I'm ugly. FML
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On 11/15/2009 at 9:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to go see my boyfriend of over two years in a play. I knew that he'd be kissing his female opposite at the end of the show and I was okay with that. I snuck into his dressing room at intermission to find him "rehearsing" with her half naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22891) - you totally deserved it (1221)
Today, my boyfriend gave me a bucket of Twizzlers for our 1 year anniversary because 'he knew I liked them.' He has no idea why I am so upset. FML
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On 11/14/2009 at 4:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML
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On 11/11/2009 at 7:21am - love - by Starchyld (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work: I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML
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On 11/10/2009 at 12:24am - health - by ID10t (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was just about to do an important presentation in front of my boss and co-workers. When, without warning I tripped in front of everyone and knocked a VERY expensive computer off the table. How do I know it was so expensive? I'm paying for it. FML
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On 10/05/2009 at 7:25pm - work - by ProneToBlondeMoments (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I made a tuna sandwich. It was really nice , so I looked at the label to see what brand it was. Turns out it wasn't tuna. It was fancy cat food. FML
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On 10/04/2009 at 3:50am - misc - by Rizzle (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
