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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66665) - you deserved it (8135)
On 04/23/2013 at 2:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44833) - you deserved it (7231)
On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28586) - you deserved it (94592)
Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11364) - you deserved it (24380)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15562) - you deserved it (1527)
On 10/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19905) - you deserved it (2364)
On 09/04/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by UnknownOperation (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6406) - you deserved it (38580)
On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28987) - you deserved it (1785)
On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25496) - you deserved it (4298)
On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6297) - you deserved it (20391)
On 01/28/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by GothicbunnyxC (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)
Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47881) - you deserved it (4812)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4166) - you deserved it (37815)
On 09/15/2011 at 5:22pm - misc - by Cooper491 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13781) - you deserved it (163228)
On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33719) - you deserved it (5615)
On 07/10/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (34367) - you deserved it (8680) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/16/2011 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Proprepourtant - France
Friday 24 May 2013
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