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jezombie

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jezombie
  • Town/Country : Blountville, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 August 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 250
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jezombie : If you've got a taste for all things involving gore, guts, and horror movies/stories, we'll get along just fine. :) I usually just visit this app on my breaks at work or when I'm super bored.

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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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jezombie's favorite FMLs

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

#21090080
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50502) - you deserved it (4030)

On 03/18/2014 at 3:44pm - health - by see you next cunt (woman) - United States

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48955) - you deserved it (8615)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38628) - you deserved it (2757)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59544) - you deserved it (4755)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46830) - you deserved it (6377)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I bought a textbook for my college class. Not only is the £150 book only sold by our teacher, it turned out to be a piece of shit that he obviously wrote, printed, and stapled together at home. When I went to the faculty about it, I was told it's all perfectly legal, and to drop it. FML

#20535847
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28887) - you deserved it (2422)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:44pm - money - by defrauded (woman) - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24032) - you deserved it (6478)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)



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