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jezombie

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jezombie

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jezombiejezombie
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 August 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 441
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jezombie : If you've got a taste for all things involving gore, guts, and horror movies/stories, we'll get along just fine. :) I usually just visit this app on my breaks at work or when I'm super bored.

jezombie's page activity

Visits<b>Nordrag</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 10:01am<b>XxwhosawesoMExX</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 12:06am<b>fudgeeocookies</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 11:49pm<b>Bweav1</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 5:45pm<b>cwrocker</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 12:09am<b>mattv88</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm<b>johnfolk</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 1:07pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 7:23pm<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 12:25pm<b>wes870</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 11:55am<b>Articulation</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:24am<b>Novaxer</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:30am<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 9:03pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:14pm<b>boostedc</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:54pm<b>KaylaLevin57</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:51am<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 1:30pm<b>mazinger_Z</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 9:30am

Liked!<b>XxwhosawesoMExX</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 5:57am

jezombie's FML badges

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of jezombie's badges

jezombie's favorite FMLs

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50661) - you deserved it (6634)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45922) - you deserved it (5306)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

#21090080
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53366) - you deserved it (4515)

On 03/18/2014 at 3:44pm - health - by see you next cunt (woman) - United States

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52917) - you deserved it (9148)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41078) - you deserved it (2960)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63139) - you deserved it (5068)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50580) - you deserved it (10860)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I bought a textbook for my college class. Not only is the £150 book only sold by our teacher, it turned out to be a piece of shit that he obviously wrote, printed, and stapled together at home. When I went to the faculty about it, I was told it's all perfectly legal, and to drop it. FML

#20535847
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31940) - you deserved it (2692)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:44pm - money - by defrauded (woman) - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28493) - you deserved it (5995)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29554) - you deserved it (8251)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML

#4447976
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39039) - you deserved it (16939)

On 08/11/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Lilly_28 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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