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jezane

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jezane
  • Town/Country : Melbourne, Australia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 September 1993 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 436
  • Number of comments : 63
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jezane : Seriously... Does anyone actually read these?..

Anyway, I'm true blue Aussie and get bored easily... Very easily.

I don't care for people complaining about a pathetic excuses of an issue, especially punctuation and religious beliefs. So long as the text is legible it should not be abused and people's beliefs are their own, not an opinion readily open for alterations.

If ya bored then send us a message, I'm usually on my iPhone and probably won't respond to fast but I'm always up for a random chat or cheap laugh.

Now get back to fml-ing and have a few laughs

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50 quality responses

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jezane's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

#20165158
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23521) - you deserved it (4053)

On 11/16/2012 at 4:40am - misc - by mfischer (man) - United States

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28336) - you deserved it (4127)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML

#19998313
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29495) - you deserved it (2910) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/02/2012 at 9:00am - love - by opinaise - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8844) - you deserved it (31187)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7683) - you deserved it (26879)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

#19902817
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8277) - you deserved it (15979)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by totallyembarassed - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sneezed my jaw out of socket. Yes, this is possible. FML

#19899616
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22626) - you deserved it (1280)

On 07/06/2012 at 11:03am - misc - by hotpatata - United States

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29512) - you deserved it (2878)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (326563) - you deserved it (45274)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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