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jewwybeanzzz

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jewwybeanzzz
  • Town/Country : Seattle, USA
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 October 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 748
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About jewwybeanzzz : Hi there! i'm really not that interesting of a person. I love Seattle. Since i'm from Seattle, obviously I love coffee. Like duh ;) i only ever use the app (I honestly didn't know there was a website until a few days ago...) and since there was an update, feel free to message me!

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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jewwybeanzzz's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "hell". FML

#703894
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (173746) - you deserved it (27563)

On 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by jdsksoapy (woman) - United States

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

#632473
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (151412) - you deserved it (25344)

On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (183596) - you deserved it (27543)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to see a therapist for the first time because I've been feeling depressed lately. I opened up and said everything that was on my mind. I really spilled my guts. After a good 30 minutes, her first question was, "Do you always talk this much?" FML

#555231
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61429) - you deserved it (5794)

On 03/23/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by Nathan (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

#507959
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (195517) - you deserved it (18854)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came back to my appartment to find that I couldn't watch certain channels on my tv. When I called the tv company I found out my parents had put a 'parental block' on all my favorite channels. Im 22 and rent an appartment with my friends. FML

#417086
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86933) - you deserved it (6759)

On 03/17/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

#391986
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (164166) - you deserved it (32119)

On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

#357552
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (197441) - you deserved it (31314)

On 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm - money - by twit (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (468317) - you deserved it (23772)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML

#285039
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15322) - you deserved it (65082)

On 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Jaeda (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (218704) - you deserved it (28161)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

#97632
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (239589) - you deserved it (43358)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my sister asked if she could look through my closet to find something to wear. She is 6 months pregnant. FML

#79349
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37865) - you deserved it (7356)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

#32415
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77149) - you deserved it (9993)

On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43977) - you deserved it (13050)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)



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