About jewwybeanzzz : Hi there! i'm really not that interesting of a person. I love Seattle. Since i'm from Seattle, obviously I love coffee. Like duh ;) i only ever use the app (I honestly didn't know there was a website until a few days ago...) and since there was an update, feel free to message me!
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jewwybeanzzz's favorite FMLs
Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML
by Victor / 09/09/2009 at 8:32am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML
by DrGas / 09/04/2009 at 12:30am / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, I was sitting next to this cute guy on an airplane who I had started talking to. There was still an empty seat between us and it seemed like there weren't any more passengers boarding the plane. I then asked out loud, "I wonder if anyone will sit between us?" He replied "I hope so." FML
by Nutty / 06/24/2009 at 1:10am / United States (New Hampshire) / Transportation
by DntH8 / 06/23/2009 at 3:21am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by Discostu80 / 06/06/2009 at 6:24am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by honeymoondisaster / 05/23/2009 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML
by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML
by Rhyno / 05/05/2009 at 11:37am / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML
by liveforpeace_ / 04/28/2009 at 2:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML
by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML
by lanbon182 / 04/10/2009 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Animals
by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy