About jewwybeanzzz : Hi there! i'm really not that interesting of a person. I love Seattle. Since i'm from Seattle, obviously I love coffee. Like duh ;) i only ever use the app (I honestly didn't know there was a website until a few days ago...) and since there was an update, feel free to message me!
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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jewwybeanzzz's favorite FMLs
Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML
by radioinvader / 10/28/2012 at 8:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by SquishFish / 08/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML
by danonno / 08/02/2012 at 5:08pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/24/2012 at 9:37pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 6:03am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML
by Sh*t / 07/02/2012 at 5:17pm / Venezuela (Distrito Federal) / Kids
Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML
by ohbiebjetaime / 06/30/2012 at 4:09pm / France / Love
by Christina / 06/29/2012 at 1:31am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy