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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 42741
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jesusjr : I will try to point out the bright side of life

jesusjr's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 5:18pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 4:15pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 11:03am<b>FiFiLovee</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 1:48pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:23am<b>Cynical_D_Luffy</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 12:38pm<b>Soger7</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:30am<b>ThatsStoryOfLife</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:49pm<b>abattior</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 1:52am<b>SmokinGuns</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 2:00am<b>Beanu</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 9:34am<b>danii_dillon</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 1:52pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 11:48pm<b>MickiJ</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 6:24pm<b>TylerScatdaddy</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 12:57pm<b>Munchlax11</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 9:13am<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 2:47pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 11:55pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 11:18pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 5:03pm

jesusjr's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jesusjr's favorite FMLs

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

by NoBalls / 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

by deucelututi / 05/31/2009 at 8:03am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

by Tootsy_Roll_Pop / 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

by herve / 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Intimacy

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

by MrAwsum / 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

by whatdoyoudo / 03/16/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML

by ruffrider / 02/05/2009 at 9:09am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy