Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jesuisamy

Search for a member

jesuisamy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 May 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3337
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jesuisamy : "We're remembered because we're odd. We make people laugh, we strut, we insert random comments when we feel like it. We're the kind of people who ask to touch your hair. Our socks don't always match, our underwear is cool (yes, we dance in it). We procrastinate, we like the rain. Most of what we say doesn't make sense, but the only reason we said it, was because we knew it would make you smile".

jesuisamy's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:17pm<b>pinz26</b> - the 02/26/2011 at 3:59pm<b>Rawrrr14</b> - the 08/01/2009 at 5:46pm<b>Snu_Snu</b> - the 07/26/2009 at 2:48pm<b>Young_Sparta</b> - the 07/25/2009 at 5:42am<b>666midnight</b> - the 07/22/2009 at 6:14pm

jesuisamy's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jesuisamy's favorite FMLs

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40802) - you deserved it (8437)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML

#9094642
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26366) - you deserved it (4500)

On 03/15/2010 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

#9041294
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33004) - you deserved it (2363)

On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

#8889344
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27438) - you deserved it (5984)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

#8797344
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20837) - you deserved it (6921)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561
454 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7240) - you deserved it (53553)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561
454 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7240) - you deserved it (53553)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

#8515469
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24328) - you deserved it (3115)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by charliesangel123 (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I lost my virginity to an ultrasound probe. FML

#8433301
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22205) - you deserved it (3715)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by kaitlin - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML

#7897076
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7757) - you deserved it (26189)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

#7870282
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25262) - you deserved it (7185)

On 02/04/2010 at 3:29am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend had replaced our picture in her locket for a picture of Taylor Lautner shirtless. FML

#7724225
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33161) - you deserved it (5615)

On 01/30/2010 at 10:20pm - love - by Twilightsux (man) - United States

Today, I was stuck sitting at a cafeteria table next to the girl who broke my heart and her boyfriend. I got to overhear the conversation, which included "I want to go to the car" followed by "Me too, but I don't have a condom." FML

#7720142
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30867) - you deserved it (2912)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:35pm - love - by WishesWasDeaf (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I learned that removing your boyfriends boxers with your teeth is waaaay less sexy when you accidentally bite a chunk of his pubes and yank them out in the process. FML

#7585326
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7833) - you deserved it (22611)

On 01/26/2010 at 3:59am - intimacy - by sexyfail (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: