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Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9953) - you deserved it (20306)
On 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by ohmy (woman) - Canada
Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26689) - you deserved it (3129)
On 12/14/2009 at 4:05am - love - by luckygirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (3567)
On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)
Today, I woke up with a ridiculous hangover and no memory of last night. I called my friend who told me that I was so trashed I ended up eating all the hamburgers and chicken fingers in her fridge. I've been a vegetarian for 15 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8652) - you deserved it (34611)
On 11/18/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by squishy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5166) - you deserved it (51884)
On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - animals - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5166) - you deserved it (51884)
On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - animals - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31272) - you deserved it (1953)
On 11/12/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by missmycomp (man) - Singapore
Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (124145) - you deserved it (4827)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15735) - you deserved it (34764)
On 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30533) - you deserved it (3673)
On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 45 minutes. I am an elevator mechanic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30963) - you deserved it (4661)
On 09/10/2009 at 2:02am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15388) - you deserved it (35209)
On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25314) - you deserved it (48616)
On 06/14/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by locksmack (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40816) - you deserved it (3553)
On 05/29/2009 at 5:09pm - health - by PiZzA_FaCe (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16568) - you deserved it (31108)
On 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by wordmalfunction (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Friday 24 May 2013
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