hey pple... im Jessica... to make it simple- im a sweet, fun, crazy, stupid, smart, friendly, girl who loves this website :D message me if u want (im pretty shy, so i wont message u until u message me first, lmao)
Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14387) - you totally deserved it (924)
On 02/22/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by holycow (man) - United States (California)
Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6545) - you totally deserved it (12729)
On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I was having a very realistic dream about a hot guy. Just as he was leaning in to ravish me, I was rudely awakened by the sound of my husband farting and snorting at the same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16015) - you totally deserved it (6262)
On 02/08/2010 at 6:24am - love - by dreamteam (woman) - United States
Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15862) - you totally deserved it (1858)
On 02/03/2010 at 8:48am - health - by Scaredshitless - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20988) - you totally deserved it (20698)
On 02/02/2010 at 3:30pm - kids - by fuckmylife (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, when he suddenly stopped and looked at me. I asked why he was looking at me so weirdly, which is when he replied "this is better then macaroni." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12945) - you totally deserved it (3583)
On 01/28/2010 at 12:40am - love - by dyhbbj - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I hurried into the bank to cash in the $5,000 check my grandparents had given me for college money. I found out that instead of my name, they wrote 'our sweet iddle pumpkinbutt'. I couldn't make eye contact with anyone after. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13593) - you totally deserved it (2404)
On 01/17/2010 at 4:08pm - misc - by pumpkinbutt - Sent from a mobile version
Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13010) - you totally deserved it (1864)
On 01/14/2010 at 4:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6606) - you totally deserved it (15519)
On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14336) - you totally deserved it (1443)
On 01/02/2010 at 10:22pm - kids - by arachnidphobia (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was making out with a really hot guy in a Jacuzzi. He had the biggest booger hanging out of his nostril, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to him about it. He went in for a kiss. Soon after our lips parted, he said, "Oh, you have big booger." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5898) - you totally deserved it (16937)
On 12/30/2009 at 10:28pm - love - by Jennyfromdablock (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was feeling proud of myself because I finally quit World Of Warcraft. I later found out about the gift my dad's family gave me. It was a 12-month subscription to World Of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15831) - you totally deserved it (5044)
On 12/26/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by thatguy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today at work I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML
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On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got a Christmas present from my boss. It was an ab workout video. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11536) - you totally deserved it (2195)
On 12/18/2009 at 11:19am - work - by B (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6413) - you totally deserved it (13608)
