jessimica642

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jessimica642

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1099
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About jessimica642 : I LOVE Dill Pickle Chips... And Orange Juice.... Together.

jessimica642's page activity

Visits<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 8:29am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 3:48am<b>chewy77056</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 11:42am<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 1:47pm<b>coolerjf</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 1:23am<b>user109012</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 8:23am<b>ontheFLY4</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:02am<b>mountainmanmike</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 6:24am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:38pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:42pm<b>theoneandonlybro</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 1:24pm<b>fmltrc</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 4:49pm<b>Hellraiser2083</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:45pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 11:54pm<b>MrKronos</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 6:02pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:44pm<b>Nick7778</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 10:53pm<b>Arni792</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 5:51am

Fucked!<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 9:55am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 11:38pm

jessimica642's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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jessimica642's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

by Cracky / 11/27/2012 at 9:32am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, a shopper approached me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignored his comment, until he got so upset that he wanted to speak to my manager. It would have been understandable if I actually worked there. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2012 at 4:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

by Janitoro / 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML

by overpriced coffee shop worker / 11/17/2012 at 1:35pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 6:17pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML

by lifelike / 10/29/2012 at 12:23am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was loudly bitched out by someone for speaking in a fake British accent, to make myself "sound sophisticated". I moved here two years ago from London. FML

by britchick95 / 10/10/2012 at 4:03pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

by SoSexy / 10/07/2012 at 6:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend again accused me of cheating on him. This time, it was because I delayed replying to his text message so I could feed my pet. Apparently I'm fucking my pet toad now. Jesus. FML

by youre dumped shitforbrain / 08/19/2012 at 12:52pm / Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan) / Love

Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML

by cardsftw / 08/16/2012 at 3:50pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML

by JAdams / 08/12/2012 at 8:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids

Today, I went to a corner store to re-stock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

by fmlgrl / 07/30/2012 at 2:59am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

by sozzy / 07/07/2012 at 3:26am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I divorced my husband of 20 years. The only positive thing about my day was my pregnancy test. Yes, it was his. FML

by GM38 / 06/22/2012 at 10:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I divorced my husband of 20 years. The only positive thing about my day was my pregnancy test. Yes, it was his. FML

by GM38 / 06/22/2012 at 10:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love