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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9458) - you deserved it (19007)
On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)
Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9458) - you deserved it (19007)
On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21969) - you deserved it (4356)
On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, I walked into school confident about the new hair color I'd had done over the weekend. My drama teacher apparently dyed her hair the same color; everyone noticed and thought I'd copied her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13683) - you deserved it (1267)
On 12/04/2012 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31159) - you deserved it (2169)
On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20661) - you deserved it (2245)
On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20217) - you deserved it (2516)
On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML
I agree, your life sucks (30158) - you deserved it (4301)
On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States
Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27868) - you deserved it (2704)
On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23092) - you deserved it (3234)
On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)
Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23625) - you deserved it (2154)
On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7834) - you deserved it (28021)
On 10/20/2012 at 9:57am - intimacy - by MIND BLOWING - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26411) - you deserved it (1928)
On 10/20/2012 at 4:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19121) - you deserved it (4385)
On 10/19/2012 at 3:59am - kids - by best_mom_ever (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24329) - you deserved it (3752)
On 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm - love - by mista_sandy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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