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jessicaazzzzzzzz's favorite FMLs
by lexithepirate / 07/27/2012 at 5:24am / United States / Health
by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 10:45am / United States / Intimacy
by Christina / 06/29/2012 at 1:31am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by GM38 / 06/22/2012 at 10:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2012 at 10:52am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by theunborn / 06/19/2012 at 12:42pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I visited my new doctor for the migraines I've been getting lately. Right from the start, I could have sworn the guy was on drugs. He just listened to my heartbeat, said, "Well Dave, it sounds like gallstones" and said they'll pass naturally. FML
by davav74 / 06/15/2012 at 7:31pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Health
Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML
by offended / 06/14/2012 at 4:11am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2012 at 3:01pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
by amidreaming?? / 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML
by why... / 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by Scared / 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today I got my period after missing it last month, the good part, I'm not prego, the bad part, it's… Today, while in a CROWDED restaurant, my mother asked my grandfather what he was going in to order.… Today, i went to see my grandpa for Father's Day. He noticed a hickey on my neck and asked if the…