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jessdhami's favorite FMLs
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
by NotAsToughAsHeThinks / 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm / United States (Montana) / Health
Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML
by knockedup / 02/13/2011 at 5:00am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 11:52am / United States (California) / Love
by Keith walk / 02/12/2011 at 12:59am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2010 at 12:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, while I was making love to my fiancé, his mom walked out of the hotel bathroom and sat in a chair less than two feet away from the bed. She made idle conversation with us for the next 15 minutes. My fiancé was still inside me the entire time. FML
by Interrupted / 11/26/2010 at 8:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
by sydysyd / 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
by splitzville / 03/16/2010 at 4:12pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by steakysteak / 03/12/2010 at 10:06am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by Tal / 04/26/2009 at 11:14am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
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