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jesscromb

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jesscromb

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 February 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 176
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jesscromb's favorite FMLs

Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

#20145644
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23619) - you deserved it (1726)

On 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by xXfloatingshitlogXx (woman) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

#20113299
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23409) - you deserved it (6048)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

#20106895
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21889) - you deserved it (4100)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

#20087243
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15674) - you deserved it (29353)

On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22607) - you deserved it (12539)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

#19838531
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31442) - you deserved it (2945)

On 06/24/2012 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

#19757535
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21605) - you deserved it (9018)

On 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

#19755042
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19495) - you deserved it (4917)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:36pm - health - by miss tomato (woman) - United States

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

#19751282
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21412) - you deserved it (2111)

On 06/07/2012 at 7:09pm - misc - by Rohirus (man) - Sweden

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

#19719748
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15047) - you deserved it (28462)

On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

#19710621
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19081) - you deserved it (39602)

On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

#19703392
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35125) - you deserved it (8655)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States

Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street, as I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML

#18443890
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25999) - you deserved it (6939)

On 12/06/2011 at 9:33am - health - by aceshot97 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister got caught cheating on her boyfriend. She was cheating on him with my boyfriend. FML

#12535853
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45441) - you deserved it (3327)

On 08/15/2010 at 7:39am - intimacy - by bbbblt - Australia (Queensland)



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