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jesnake

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jesnake

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 303
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jesnake's page activity

Visits<b>negb</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 4:41am<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 4:12pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 7:12pm<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 10:21am<b>Storia30</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 4:58pm<b>XXPhoenixLynnXX</b> - the 04/05/2013 at 8:17am<b>arsenicalhumor</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 1:50pm<b>whatismyusername</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 7:04pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 12:10pm<b>animalover9</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 9:12pm<b>Blue329</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 6:53am<b>Deerohdahshet</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 9:28pm<b>BrookieAnn</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 7:42pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 11:39am<b>Coop817</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 6:37pm

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jesnake's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

#20027548
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37858) - you deserved it (2195)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14740) - you deserved it (38396)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

#19957944
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31327) - you deserved it (2503)

On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML

#19935872
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15056) - you deserved it (29310)

On 07/14/2012 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Leyla - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though; he's not a rapist. FML

#19918640
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32422) - you deserved it (2019)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML

#19918441
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6785) - you deserved it (26417)

On 07/10/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by mustanggt (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had three things converge that should never be together: my period, hot doctor, and a colonoscopy. FML

#19687199
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31573) - you deserved it (2491)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
474 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47118) - you deserved it (4368)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13066) - you deserved it (54042) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

#19459433
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20274) - you deserved it (6393)

On 04/13/2012 at 12:46am - love - by jesifairy - Australia

Today, I went to family therapy because my mom wanted the family to be closer. When asked what her biggest disappointment was in life, she turned to me and said, "Having a gay son" then patted my hand, smiled, and said "No offense, honey." FML

#19416879
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38317) - you deserved it (6515)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:24am - misc - by Sadboy (man) - United States

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20579) - you deserved it (4148)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India

Today, I woke up to a beautiful sunrise, the smell of bacon in a frying pan, and some dickhead trying to pick the lock on my front door. FML

Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML

#5716405
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31715) - you deserved it (7704)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by belle_arina (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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