jerylann

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jerylann

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 April 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3306
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About jerylann : i love to laugh, especially when its other people
i wish i could speak latin fluently
i bowl bettter than all yallll!!!
9 on FMR!! hahaha

rx bandits
the fall of troy
TSOAF &&
Portugal. The Man
-are currently floating my boat and sinking my subb!

"Love is stronger than any addiction, hell it is an addiction"
-Madea

jerylann's page activity

Visits<b>Sockturtle</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:52am<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 7:00pm<b>Theater_Chef_3</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 12:13am<b>redBuddhist</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 12:07pm<b>LowerCaseT</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 3:08am<b>ILIEKGIRLS</b> - the 02/15/2012 at 3:12am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:30pm<b>voice_of_reasonx</b> - the 06/03/2011 at 2:49am<b>DogmaT</b> - the 02/14/2011 at 7:26pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:27pm<b>tendo64</b> - the 08/18/2010 at 10:07am<b>281go</b> - the 07/02/2010 at 2:08am<b>minas23</b> - the 06/14/2010 at 1:25pm<b>msfitcluts</b> - the 06/06/2010 at 10:50am<b>K0RRuPT</b> - the 05/25/2010 at 9:16pm<b>totes_sucks</b> - the 05/03/2010 at 4:27pm<b>Ilovelife07</b> - the 04/25/2010 at 11:16pm<b>CallMeHush</b> - the 03/21/2010 at 12:40am

jerylann's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jerylann's favorite FMLs

Today, while at McDonald's, I saw an 8 year old girl licking a life-size Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench. Being concerned, I told her mother who then yelled at me for 10 minutes for being a "paedophile" and "being turned on by an 8 year old girl." FML

by JackG / 03/02/2010 at 8:20pm / United States (Montana) / Kids

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

by GuiltByTenuousAssociation / 03/01/2010 at 8:17am / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, while working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML

by mallcop / 02/14/2010 at 12:07am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

by syl / 02/11/2010 at 1:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, "get closer to Jesus" camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML

by purple / 01/29/2010 at 6:22am / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma told me to fuck off when I tried to help her with the dishes. FML

by volleyballgirl12 / 01/17/2010 at 1:31am / Love

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2009 at 3:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

by SnuggieOverload / 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face" while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2009 at 12:55am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

by Curt / 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

by ahhahaha / 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.