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jerylann

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jerylann
  • Town/Country : s-villle aka smalllville!!, U.S. of A.
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 April 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1889
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About jerylann : i love to laugh, especially when its other people
i wish i could speak latin fluently
i bowl bettter than all yallll!!!
9 on FMR!! hahaha

rx bandits
the fall of troy
TSOAF &&
Portugal. The Man
-are currently floating my boat and sinking my subb!

"Love is stronger than any addiction, hell it is an addiction"
-Madea

jerylann's last visitors

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jerylann's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jerylann's favorite FMLs

Today, while at McDonald's, I saw an 8 year old girl licking a life-size Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench. Being concerned, I told her mother who then yelled at me for 10 minutes for being a "paedophile" and "being turned on by an 8 year old girl." FML

#8781729 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (18904) - you deserved it (1649)

On 03/02/2010 at 8:20pm - misc - by JackG - United States (Montana)

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

#8743976 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (26483) - you deserved it (1448)

On 03/01/2010 at 8:17am - misc - by GuiltByTenuousAssociation (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML

#8230374 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (16618) - you deserved it (1459)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:07am - work - by mallcop - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072 (323)

I agree, your life sucks (12079) - you deserved it (3159)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, get closer to Jesus camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML

#7668183 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (24203) - you deserved it (6648)

On 01/29/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by purple - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML

#7490616 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (36722) - you deserved it (2838)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my grandma told me to f*** off when I tried to help her with the dishes. FML

#7391871 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (20768) - you deserved it (4417)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:31am - love - by volleyballgirl12 - Sent from mobile version

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (1191) - you deserved it (164)

On 01/10/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by wowhoopla - Sent from mobile version

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

#6842444 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (30607) - you deserved it (2167)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (18645) - you deserved it (4877)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

#6421239 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (23536) - you deserved it (2805)

On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

#5529870 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (33773) - you deserved it (2173)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML

#5344643 (255)

I agree, your life sucks (56723) - you deserved it (2967)

On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

#5224172 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (50122) - you deserved it (2484)

On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

#5082348 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (47860) - you deserved it (6375)

On 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm - health - by Curt (man) - United States (Missouri)