About jengers115 : I'm a banana!
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It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
jengers115's favorite FMLs
by msjustine / 05/06/2011 at 3:27pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I took a 40 minute bus ride home from work. The first 20 minutes were spent listening to the drunk man behind me moan uncontrollably and belch. The last 20 minutes were spent trying to ignore the vomit he left on my back as he got up to leave. FML
by eewww / 05/06/2011 at 11:47am / United Kingdom / Transportation
Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, Chocolate and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML
by gymgirl / 05/05/2011 at 9:47am / Hong Kong / Health
Today, while working at a sandwich shop, we had a shortage and could only put so many veggies on one sandwich. I explained this to one man who was grumpy about it, but kept on ordering. I thought everything went well. He thought my face was a good target to launch his completed sandwich at. FML
by epicsandwichartist / 05/05/2011 at 3:13am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
by Anonymous / 05/04/2011 at 2:05pm / United States / Health
Today, I saw a car swerving in front of me on the freeway, so I whipped out my cell to report the DUI. As soon as it started ringing, I see police lights in my rear view and got slapped with a ticket for using a cell phone while driving. After explaining why, the officer said, "Nice try." FML
by AE86Turbo / 05/03/2011 at 1:22am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, after teaching my 4 year old son about the concept of "Stranger Danger," we had gone to a park full of people. When I walked up to him to tell him we had to leave, he ran, screaming "Stranger! Don't touch me!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went on a picnic. After we finished eating he laid down, closed his eyes, and put his head in my lap. At the exact second that I bent down to kiss him, he jumped up to get the Frisbee. We both have bloody noses. FML
by wtf1234 / 05/02/2011 at 9:41pm / United States / Health
by missmirror / 05/02/2011 at 7:00pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous
by spekledworf / 05/02/2011 at 5:30pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by teinage / 05/02/2011 at 2:47pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Transportation
by Tokany / 04/28/2011 at 3:29pm / Romania (Cluj) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 04/26/2011 at 3:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by BigToe / 04/26/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health
- Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he…