jemmers

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Offline (the 09/22/2016 at 8:19am)

jemmers

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 June 1977 (39 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1265
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jemmers's page activity

Visits<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Toonice45</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 7:50pm<b>swervelol</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 11:56pm<b>dumbmotherinlaw</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 10:28am<b>Soccerboi15</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 6:17pm<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 1:41am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 12:38pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 9:18pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 5:01pm<b>Stripes12345</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 9:30pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 3:00pm<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 8:11am<b>MiniMarshan</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 6:00pm<b>SweetSoyMilk</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 11:59pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 9:08pm<b>misterjg540</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 5:37pm<b>Ang3lbee</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 1:13pm<b>JustAReaderZZZZ</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 4:01am

Fucked!<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 7:41am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:38pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 11:01pm

jemmers's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of jemmers's badges

jemmers's favorite FMLs

Today, I got the chance to speak to some of the top academics in my field. I was so hungover that I couldn't remember the title of the Masters degree I've spent two years studying for, let alone make intelligent comments. I'm pretty sure the only thing I got right was my name. FML

by could be an fml commenter / 04/13/2013 at 1:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2012 at 7:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE / 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, it was my first day in Paris. I've been saving up for five years. It was a rainy day, but I was determined to go see the Eiffel Tower. On my way, I fell down a slippery set of stairs and knocked both of my front teeth out. Now, I have the view of the Eiffel Tower from my hospital window. FML

by parisklutz / 10/20/2012 at 3:06am / France (Lorraine) / Health

Today, I found out my husband has been talking to another woman on Facebook. His only defense was "I thought I deleted the messages." FML

by gmac0417 / 09/01/2012 at 2:02am / United States / Love

Today, after having taken hormone tablets to try to increase my cup size, I realized that I've basically reversed my menopause. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2012 at 3:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I found out why you shouldn't drop instant mashed potatoes in a fish tank, especially when you have expensive fish. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2012 at 11:47am / United States / Animals

Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a World of Warcraft commercial came on. He turned to me and said, "Yeah, I'd choose the Horde over you any day." FML

by Sad.To.Be.Me. / 01/13/2012 at 6:56pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

by Grandson / 01/01/2012 at 8:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

by optimistic2628 / 10/19/2011 at 10:03am / United States / Kids

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm / United States / Work

Today, my husband went in for surgery and handed me an important document. It wasn't a will or anything similar, but a list of items and gold he wanted passed on to guild members on World of Warcraft. FML

by WoWWidow / 09/02/2011 at 4:02am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

by INside / 08/02/2011 at 12:52am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

by Cowgirl_Up37 / 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous