jellybean17

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jellybean17

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 August 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13720
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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jellybean17's page activity

Visits<b>Rais</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 1:18am<b>vincentjules</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 8:33am<b>QueenBii</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 12:39am<b>tiger820</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 10:28pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 8:46am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 4:54pm<b>nemoking797</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:48pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:37pm<b>nateh763</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:03pm<b>Zyssii</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 2:57am<b>bps315</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 2:51pm<b>rememberthefood</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 12:29am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 8:44pm<b>PITSB</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 1:24am<b>DarkAngel34</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 11:57pm<b>pimpcess_yanna</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 11:19am<b>03stroker03</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:39am<b>snowah96111</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 5:48pm

Fucked!<b>tiger820</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 4:28am<b>PITSB</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 7:25am<b>pimpcess_yanna</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 5:19pm

jellybean17's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jellybean17's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I realized that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

by UGH / 04/08/2009 at 4:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me "don't worry, it's not yours." FML

by Crazy09 / 04/08/2009 at 1:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I took my dog to the puppy park to meet girls. I met one very attractive girl, she loved my puppy, and she asked for my number. As she took out her phone, my dog defecated on her feet. She was wearing sandals. FML

by redmethod87 / 04/08/2009 at 12:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I was at the gym with my friends when they invited me to do a few bench presses. Since I'd never done any before, I decided to start with no weights on the bar and work my way up from there. I wound up pinned beneath the bar, calling for my friend to come free me. FML

by MarcusJones713 / 04/08/2009 at 7:17am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML

by ugly / 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

by aviators / 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I was in a store using the only bathroom there. After I was done, I realized I couldn't open the door. Panicked it locked me in, I banged on the door, and screamed for help. The security and a whole group of people gathered, only to find that I was pulling the door instead of pushing it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 11:51am / Japan / Miscellaneous

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

by Brastro / 04/07/2009 at 7:46am / Ireland (Kildare) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

by no_leather_of_any_kind / 04/07/2009 at 3:08am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I was walking down the street with my friend, one I walk down every day, and I saw a really cute guy nearby. I felt like I looked better than usual, so I turned my head to offer a smile, and walked right into a pole. The impact was strong enough to send me falling to the floor. FML

by laurisshnazzy / 04/07/2009 at 1:10am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2009 at 1:15pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was at IKEA with my parents. I walked away from them and later I heard the speaker of the store call my name asking me to come to the playground because my mom and dad were worried. I'm 18. FML

by BrilsmurfO_O / 04/06/2009 at 10:12am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

by trashcanned / 04/06/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Virginia) / Kids