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Today, my two year old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32089) - you deserved it (21359)
On 04/12/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15032) - you deserved it (71680)
On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27164) - you deserved it (46645)
On 04/11/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by ripped (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27164) - you deserved it (46645)
On 04/11/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by ripped (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59369) - you deserved it (15521)
On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out hes my cousin: priceless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (148381) - you deserved it (46675)
On 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was riding on a stationary exercise bike at home, when I went to get off, my shorts got stuck under the seat. I dangled half upside down until my shorts ripped and I fell on the ground face first breaking my front tooth. I broke my tooth riding a bike that doesn’t even move. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49417) - you deserved it (7071)
On 04/10/2009 at 4:17am - misc - by missy (woman) - Italy (Toscana)
Today, I came home expecting a surprise party. It was my birthday and I had overheard my friends planning it all week. Nobody was there. It turns out the party they were planning was for my friend's dog's birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55621) - you deserved it (3530)
On 04/09/2009 at 11:11am - misc - by sheryl_m (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at the orthodontist. As the lady was clipping my brackets, she missed and clipped my gums instead. She looked at me and said, "Oh sorry, you're bleeding really badly. See, I got these fake nails put on and I guess I'm just not used to them. Let me try again." She missed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65834) - you deserved it (1866)
On 04/09/2009 at 8:33am - misc - by BracesSuck (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was out shopping for bras. While in one store, I couldn't seem to find any in my size. When I asked an employee for help, they took one look at my chest and said "Mabye you should try our girls section, we have a lot of training bras." I'm 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45842) - you deserved it (3290)
On 04/09/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by blahhhh (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31125) - you deserved it (100325)
On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57672) - you deserved it (6628)
On 04/08/2009 at 11:43pm - animals - by BadBreath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57790) - you deserved it (8767)
On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21173) - you deserved it (48366)
On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I realized that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12163) - you deserved it (59422)
On 04/08/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by UGH (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 20 May 2013
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