jellybean17

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jellybean17

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 August 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14008
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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jellybean17's page activity

Visits<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 12:58pm<b>Rais</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 1:18am<b>vincentjules</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 8:33am<b>QueenBii</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 12:39am<b>tiger820</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 10:28pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 8:46am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 4:54pm<b>nemoking797</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:48pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:37pm<b>nateh763</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:03pm<b>Zyssii</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 2:57am<b>bps315</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 2:51pm<b>rememberthefood</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 12:29am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 8:44pm<b>PITSB</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 1:24am<b>DarkAngel34</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 11:57pm<b>pimpcess_yanna</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 11:19am<b>03stroker03</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:39am

Fucked!<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 6:58pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 4:28am<b>PITSB</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 7:25am<b>pimpcess_yanna</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 5:19pm

jellybean17's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jellybean17's favorite FMLs

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML

by wellesleybanana / 04/17/2009 at 2:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2009 at 10:14am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was petsitting for my neighbor's new puppy. A huge thunderstorm came, and the puppy started whining and shivering violently. I pulled it into my lap to try and comfort it. One loud clap of thunder later, and the puppy had explosive diarrhea all over me. FML

by Puppysit88 / 04/16/2009 at 5:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

by Eyesore / 04/16/2009 at 5:27pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

by SwimSquid / 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Florida) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom scooped the litter box right before I went to work. I brown bagged my lunch this morning. She brown bagged the poop from the litter box. Both were on the counter. Guess which one I brought to work? FML

by chriss / 04/14/2009 at 1:09pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2009 at 10:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML

by Obee / 04/14/2009 at 10:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, during dress rehearsal before the show, I came in with crutches pretending I broke my leg as a joke. I then threw away the crutches, laughed and then fell down some stairs. I am now in crutches with a broken leg. I was the lead. FML

by seussical65 / 04/14/2009 at 9:48am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML

by LizLiao / 04/14/2009 at 3:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

by brad3720 / 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

by anonymiss / 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health