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jellybean17

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jellybean17
  • Town/Country : Athens, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 August 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 12799
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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jellybean17's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

#1384927
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9272) - you deserved it (47721)

On 04/27/2009 at 5:14am - misc - by maddie94 (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. After writing the ticket, he asked me why I was wearing a surgical mask. I told him that swine flu was found in our area and I was scared. He thought that I was insulting him and wrote me another ticket. FML

#1383069
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66197) - you deserved it (14289)

On 04/27/2009 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML

#1382761
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86347) - you deserved it (20771)

On 04/27/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by hjgjh - United States (California)

Today, I got kicked in the face at a soccer game. Everybody clapped. FML

#1351695
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59757) - you deserved it (8446)

On 04/26/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by Tal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

#1339602
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42210) - you deserved it (15182)

On 04/25/2009 at 11:10pm - animals - by poopedon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met this guy I really liked at a party. We got chatting and then hit the dance floor. We had a "moment" and I went in to kiss him. He shot forward with his tongue already out. His eyes were open. FML

#1315252
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44539) - you deserved it (8634)

On 04/25/2009 at 8:18am - misc - by plasticfantastic - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was doing a fitness test. Though clumsy, I managed to spin around a bat then dash across a balance beam, run through some tires, and walk across a log floating in water. Pleased with my performance, I walked to the bathroom, tripped on my shoelace, and busted my head on the floor. FML

#1314307
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40764) - you deserved it (4494)

On 04/25/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by Clumsy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML

#1310599
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38917) - you deserved it (3238)

On 04/25/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by GreenMonstR (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend at the airport after studying abroad for a year. She ran to hug me, and I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, like they do in those romantic movies. I tried to do that, but instead I dropped her. FML

#1268284
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16563) - you deserved it (48064)

On 04/23/2009 at 7:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was waiting for the train. It arrived, I got on and the woman behind me stepped on the back of my shoe. My shoe came flying off and landed in the gutter between the train and the platform. The doors closed, the train pulled away. FML

#1252077
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48088) - you deserved it (2493)

On 04/23/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by Kate (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

#1250407
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51517) - you deserved it (9858)

On 04/23/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a girl I knew from high school at the DMV and she started leaning forward. I thought she was leaning into hug me. So I just began to hug her. She was actually trying to throw something in the garbage. FML

#1250127
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36558) - you deserved it (14008)

On 04/23/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I didn't wear my contacts. Determined to prove to my friends I didn't need them, I read all the signs in sight. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on my face, bruising my cheekbone. The sign said: "Caution: Watch Your Step." FML

#1248987
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10392) - you deserved it (56118)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by notexactly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML

#1244870
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21979) - you deserved it (71479)

On 04/23/2009 at 12:20am - intimacy - by rejected (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my grandma and I were watching the Ranger's playoff game. As Henrik Lundqvist received a standing ovation from the crowd after blocking 38 shots, she says to me, "Check out his equipment!" My 80-year old grandma just commented on Henrik Lundqvist's package. FML

#1241991
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32344) - you deserved it (4026)

On 04/22/2009 at 9:46pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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