jellybean17

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jellybean17

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 August 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13942
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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jellybean17's page activity

Visits<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 12:58pm<b>Rais</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 1:18am<b>vincentjules</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 8:33am<b>QueenBii</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 12:39am<b>tiger820</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 10:28pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 8:46am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 4:54pm<b>nemoking797</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:48pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:37pm<b>nateh763</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:03pm<b>Zyssii</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 2:57am<b>bps315</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 2:51pm<b>rememberthefood</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 12:29am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 8:44pm<b>PITSB</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 1:24am<b>DarkAngel34</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 11:57pm<b>pimpcess_yanna</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 11:19am<b>03stroker03</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:39am

Fucked!<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 6:58pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 4:28am<b>PITSB</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 7:25am<b>pimpcess_yanna</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 5:19pm

jellybean17's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jellybean17's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

by beya / 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

by mel / 08/30/2009 at 11:23am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML

by staringisrude / 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I spotted my neighbour's cat sitting on their front garden. I bent over and began walking towards it with my hand out saying, "Hello pussycat". I was only a few feet away when I realised I was talking to a white bag of sand. I turned to see my family in hysterics. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2009 at 7:40am / United Kingdom (Reading) / Animals

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

by anonymous / 08/20/2009 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML

by Emptyspace / 06/25/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting a pedicure and the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds because they love skin. She then describes for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 4:34am / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML

by embarrassed4life / 06/25/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML

by BadBribe / 06/24/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my friend decided to come clean to his parents about his pot usage. He told them that he did it with me on many occasions. His parents decided it would be the right thing to call my parents. Thanks a lot asshole. FML

by jerk / 06/24/2009 at 2:44am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting next to this cute guy on an airplane who I had started talking to. There was still an empty seat between us and it seemed like there weren't any more passengers boarding the plane. I then asked out loud, "I wonder if anyone will sit between us?" He replied "I hope so." FML

by Nutty / 06/24/2009 at 1:10am / United States (New Hampshire) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML

by Jerf / 06/23/2009 at 8:56pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my car was impounded because I never registered it in California after moving here. In order to get it back, I need to register it. In order to register it, I need to pass a CA smog check. In order to pass the smog check, I need my car. FML

by nicklesg / 06/23/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (California) / Transportation