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jelly_rolls

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jelly_rolls

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 388
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jelly_rolls's page activity

Visits<b>rockyhorrorQT</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 8:19am<b>Paulcs</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 9:52am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 1:41am<b>Etched</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 3:10am<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 1:22am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 7:59pm<b>vipirius</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 6:26pm

jelly_rolls's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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jelly_rolls's favorite FMLs

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

#21410748
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31059) - you deserved it (2346)

On 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30299) - you deserved it (2672)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML

#21399867
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32605) - you deserved it (4677)

On 04/26/2015 at 6:05am - health - by Anonymous (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

#21379420
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29947) - you deserved it (3540)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

#21378507
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27338) - you deserved it (2068)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by ~__~ -

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

#21378402
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32041) - you deserved it (2162)

On 03/20/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by not picking up (man) - Slovenia (Skofljica)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

#21374736
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (558) - you deserved it (10566)

On 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, what my friends call my "resting bitch face" freaked my boyfriend out enough during sex that he went soft inside me. FML

#21374265
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29683) - you deserved it (6556)

On 03/14/2015 at 4:22am - intimacy - by sa la vash (woman) - Netherlands

Today, while walking my dog, we came across two men having a heated argument in the street. My dog decided the perfect place to poop was right next to them. He wouldn't budge no matter what. Meanwhile, one of the men pulled a knife, and I practically shat myself. FML

#21374140
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29694) - you deserved it (2440)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41155) - you deserved it (3974)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41434) - you deserved it (4353)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38922) - you deserved it (8772)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I'm at that age where sitting down carries a 50/50 chance of turning my balls into scrambled eggs, a fact confirmed yet again today. Third time this week. I think it's time to switch to briefs. FML

#21259403
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27498) - you deserved it (4131)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:20pm - health - by I need a new ballsack. (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



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