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jelly_rolls

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jelly_rolls

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 673
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jelly_rolls's page activity

Visits<b>khoov19</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 12:12am<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 1:06am<b>balboa_2</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 4:44pm<b>acevango</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 3:53pm<b>rockyhorrorQT</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 8:19am<b>Paulcs</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 9:52am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 1:41am<b>Etched</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 3:10am<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 1:22am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 7:59pm<b>vipirius</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 6:26pm

Fucked!<b>khoov19</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 6:12am

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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jelly_rolls's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my grandma's house to visit. She's an elderly woman, so I asked if there was anything I could do to help. She told me to take the dog out, so I did, but one thing she didn't tell me is that her dog loves to take explosive shits everywhere. FML

#21521987
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17379) - you deserved it (1484)

On 02/02/2016 at 12:37am - animals - by ReiracsNeve - United States (Colorado)

Today, I visited my 90-year-old great-grandmother and her boyfriend. This wouldn't be a problem, if this boyfriend wasn't different than the one she had yesterday. She told me not to tell him about "the other one". FML

#21521764
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18951) - you deserved it (1437)

On 02/01/2016 at 11:37am - love - by anon (woman) - United States

Today, it was an extremely hot day so I hit up the beach for a swim. Just as I entered the water, the first wave approached me. I tried to jump it and lost my footing, managing to dislocate my hip. I had to be dragged from the water by the lifeguards. FML

#21520345
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19529) - you deserved it (2031)

On 01/28/2016 at 6:42am - misc - by water fail - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

#21520327
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23014) - you deserved it (1560)

On 01/28/2016 at 3:39am - animals - by sweetie808 - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was taking a dump at work. I had my two-way radio attached to the back of my belt. When I stood up and pulled my pants up, I managed to send the antenna straight up my butt. FML

#21520186
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19845) - you deserved it (4344)

On 01/27/2016 at 7:29pm - misc - by poopsicle (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after weeks of watching Michael Jackson videos non-stop, my boyfriend learned how to moonwalk. Now he does it literally everywhere. I can't even cross the street without him moonwalking behind me. FML

#21520184
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18624) - you deserved it (2637)

On 01/27/2016 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into a room to help a patient get ready for bed. Except she already was in bed, with two other male patients. I work in a retirement home. FML

#21519742
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19825) - you deserved it (1531)

On 01/26/2016 at 5:22pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my girlfriend wasn't kidding when she said that if I hit her cervix just the 'right' way during sex, she'd puke. I was on the bottom. FML

Today, it was the first day in my life that I fell into a toilet because someone left the toilet seat up. I'm a guy. FML

#21518877
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16364) - you deserved it (5904)

On 01/24/2016 at 12:47pm - misc - by lookwhereyasittin - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I twisted my knee while cutting firewood with my grandpa. The pain was so crippling, I fell over screaming. His response? "Quit your bitching, I had my kneecaps blown off in Vietnam. They had to stitch 'em back on." He's never been to Vietnam, or even out of the country. FML

#21518868
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24128) - you deserved it (1968)

On 01/24/2016 at 12:10pm - health - by fuckoffgramps (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was starting to get freaky with my boyfriend when his dad came in with no warning to let the dog into my boyfriend's bedroom. His dad noticed what was going on and covered the dog's eyes instead of just leaving. FML

#21517614
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20495) - you deserved it (3225)

On 01/20/2016 at 11:41pm - intimacy - by Garfield - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

#21516257
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20523) - you deserved it (3241)

On 01/17/2016 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut in his finger. FML

#21511306
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20174) - you deserved it (2051)

On 01/04/2016 at 6:18am - health - by tessisue - Germany

Today, my boyfriend told me I sound like a squeaky toy during sex, and asked if I could get it under control because it creeps him out. FML

#21510905
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20259) - you deserved it (3720)

On 01/03/2016 at 4:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML

#21502817
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20300) - you deserved it (2272)

On 12/12/2015 at 2:14am - misc - by shat (man) - United States (California)



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