Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jelly_rolls

Online | Search for a member

jelly_rolls

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 414
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jelly_rolls's page activity

Visits<b>rockyhorrorQT</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 8:19am<b>Paulcs</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 9:52am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 1:41am<b>Etched</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 3:10am<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 1:22am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 7:59pm<b>vipirius</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 6:26pm

jelly_rolls's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of jelly_rolls's badges

jelly_rolls's favorite FMLs

Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove into my tank top and bit straight through my nipple. FML

#21434340
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20440) - you deserved it (2052)

On 06/30/2015 at 12:02pm - animals - by piercednipple (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29612) - you deserved it (2101)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, we had customer complaints of a child molester hanging around our restaurant. After confrontation by a manager, he wouldn't leave. I had to be walked to my car after my shift by more than one person because I look 12 and they were afraid for me. I'm almost 19. FML

#21430929
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24486) - you deserved it (1799)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:23pm - work - by ilook12 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23955) - you deserved it (4470)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

#21429657
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24876) - you deserved it (2051)

On 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm - kids - by hfs palm - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriends house to meet his parents, and now they have a dead rabbit because I sat on it. FML

#21428963
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24265) - you deserved it (4803)

On 06/20/2015 at 6:42am - animals - by rabbitkiller - China (Nei Mongol)

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

#21427542
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23567) - you deserved it (11487)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:41am - misc - by HURP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML

#21426414
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31134) - you deserved it (4738)

On 06/15/2015 at 10:49am - animals - by justin Bieber - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I was putting stuff into the back of my car, a man walked by and said I looked "super fine." When I looked up to look him in the face, he immediately looked disgusted and basically ran away. Apparently, my face does that. FML

#21421481
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25184) - you deserved it (2018)

On 06/05/2015 at 8:44pm - misc - by fugly - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked outside to get the paper, and saw a dying bird I assumed had flown into the window. It was warm so I thought it might still be alive. I wasn't wearing my glasses though, and was trying to nurse a dog turd back to life. FML

#21420933
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25584) - you deserved it (9796)

On 06/04/2015 at 10:17pm - animals - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, cops showed up at my house looking for an ex neighbor. It would be all cool if before knocking they didn't politely wait in front of my window listening me and my boyfriend having sex for half an hour. FML

#21418507
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28457) - you deserved it (2617)

On 05/31/2015 at 10:19am - intimacy - by bonsai_girl - Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska)

Today, a guy hit on me. It's such a rare occurrence that I didn't know how to react, so I panicked and said "Sorry, I have to go!" Then I remembered we were on a bus, and just turned around and awkwardly pretended he wasn't there. FML

#21418496
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26527) - you deserved it (6054)

On 05/31/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML

#21418416
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29543) - you deserved it (4538)

On 05/31/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by bonehead69 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized out how sad my love life is when I got excited that the number a girl gave me turned out to really be hers. FML

#21417861
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27093) - you deserved it (2410)

On 05/30/2015 at 1:40am - love - by L_lives (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: