About jedielf : I rule.
jedielf's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
jedielf's favorite FMLs
by Noname / 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by someonevexed / 02/01/2009 at 2:01pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Love
Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said "you know I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses". FML
by losingstreak / 01/31/2009 at 3:47pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML
by MichiganExile / 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "Rape me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML
by RollieCollieUSA / 01/30/2009 at 12:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Hahaha / 01/29/2009 at 10:19am / United States (California) / Love
by AKN / 01/28/2009 at 7:33pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by calikola / 01/28/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by kiddo / 01/28/2009 at 10:42am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Oh really / 01/27/2009 at 7:17pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML
by Noname / 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm / Japan (Fukuoka) / Health
Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML
by Boredom / 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm / United States / Intimacy
by buddy / 01/26/2009 at 9:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML
by Sally / 01/25/2009 at 7:06pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…