Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jedielf

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

jedielf

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 January 1987 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1349
  • Number of comments : 178
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About jedielf : I rule.

jedielf's page activity

Visits<b>Loyalteez</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 4:10pm<b>Kazze</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 9:04am<b>pete9913</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 7:36pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 10:09am<b>kdub1565</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 11:39pm<b>moekare543</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 7:58am<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 2:08am<b>soyogh</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 11:26pm<b>CTPope74</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 1:44pm<b>struebig16</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 7:43pm<b>silentshadow90</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 7:06am<b>jumpinghippos</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 11:35pm<b>melcat</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 3:55pm<b>barnee26</b> - the 11/07/2012 at 12:42pm<b>j_js182</b> - the 10/14/2012 at 7:16am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:20pm

jedielf's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of jedielf's badges

jedielf's favorite FMLs

Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said "you know I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses". FML

#4219
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9043) - you deserved it (34912)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by losingstreak - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

#4148
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30552) - you deserved it (5541)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had dinner on my own. My cat came and sat on the chair on the other side of the table. We stared at each other during the whole meal. Pathetic. FML

#4050
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33023) - you deserved it (4624)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by JulleandCici - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "Rape me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

#3770
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25662) - you deserved it (5887)

On 01/30/2009 at 12:27pm - love - by RollieCollieUSA - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the Plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said, "Really? Again?" FML

#3333
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8940) - you deserved it (33397)

On 01/29/2009 at 10:19am - misc - by Hahaha - United States (California)

Today, my friend sent me the link to this website with a message that said, "You'll feel at home." FML

#3195
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19252) - you deserved it (2549)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by AKN - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my grandmother who has Alzheimer's and can't usually remember my name, had a sudden moment of clarity and asked me why I'm still not married yet. FML

#3070
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27606) - you deserved it (2053)

On 01/28/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by calikola - United States (New Jersey)

Today, on my 18th birthday, my mom told me the man I thought was my father for 18 years was actually not my father, and my real father was in prison for murder. FML

#3036
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47061) - you deserved it (1802)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:42am - misc - by kiddo - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend mentioned a book that reminded her of me, when I asked what it was called she said "He's just not that into you". FML

#2931
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18576) - you deserved it (1863)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by Oh really - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

#2729
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49472) - you deserved it (2587)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm - health - by Noname - Japan (Fukuoka)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17300) - you deserved it (72111)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

#2635
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45873) - you deserved it (10855)

On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)

Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

#2562
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20418) - you deserved it (4909)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML

#2475
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4905) - you deserved it (37353)

On 01/24/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by Farva - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: