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jedielf

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jedielf
  • Town/Country : Sydney, Australia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 January 1987 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 371
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About jedielf : I rule.

jedielf's last visitors

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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jedielf's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to clean up the urine puddle left by one of the regulars who plays the poker slot machines at the bar where I work. Rather than reserve the machine to go to the bathroom, she literally sits in her own piss to mark her territory. This happens about every second day. FML

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23335) - you deserved it (6429)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44837) - you deserved it (2506)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45774) - you deserved it (2382)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, two guys proclaiming that they were both Batman attacked me on the street. FML

#17316735
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22438) - you deserved it (2199)

On 07/31/2011 at 2:17am - health - by The Joker? - United States (Iowa)

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31585) - you deserved it (7551)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
436 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32079) - you deserved it (9439)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I finished a 50 page term end thesis essay on the history of Russia. Looking over the final requirements once more, I find I made just a tiny little mistake. It was supposed to be a thesis on "Prussia". The paper's due tomorrow. FML

#6580357
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22504) - you deserved it (26628)

On 12/03/2009 at 4:08am - work - by WTFFAIL (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after six months of dating, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because my "obsession" of being on the computer and playing games all the time was cutting into "our time". She then told me to "get a life" and never wanted to see me again. She told me all of this on WoW. FML

#4911322
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21134) - you deserved it (38443)

On 08/29/2009 at 6:20pm - love - by zuper_duper (man) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I'm the captain of the football team. FML

#14044
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12780) - you deserved it (37300)

On 02/07/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by misc - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML

#13325
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10079) - you deserved it (50163)

On 02/07/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by name50 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (223061) - you deserved it (37850)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

#11750
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37992) - you deserved it (5067)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by beerpong26 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39742) - you deserved it (11218)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

#8687
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28011) - you deserved it (10670)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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