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jds22311

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jds22311

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 224
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About jds22311 : I'm a welder,I work for BMW in South Carolina,Im very passionate about playing drums,guitar,piano,and violin hit me up or follow me on twitter @JDS22311

jds22311's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:40am<b>krupa1017</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 8:59pm<b>ScarletRoses92</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 9:03pm<b>Christinesayyys</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 12:13pm<b>WhoopWhoop321</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 5:04pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 6:14pm<b>c_note21</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 4:41am<b>MiraDec01</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 10:00pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 6:33pm<b>brianax36</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 5:27am<b>stripes97</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 9:27am<b>mikailanicole98</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 10:59pm<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 1:42am<b>JoshArson</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 10:04am<b>evilscorpi</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 7:21am<b>SamanthaNicole95</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 2:29pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 8:47pm<b>beatlesgirl2u2</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 11:00am

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jds22311's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad and I got royally bitched out by my mother, because she found a bill for a porn site subscription, which was paid by my dad, but made out to my name. I had no idea about any of this, but she now thinks I'm a filthy porn addict and that my dad is an enabler. FML

#21027732
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52465) - you deserved it (5210)

On 01/14/2014 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML

#21027629
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25989) - you deserved it (44555)

On 01/14/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by ===== (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, my wife and I were watching a football game. While someone was about to score, she started screaming, "Go!" and "Come on! You can do it! Go baby, go!" My first thought was that I wished I could still make her scream like that. FML

#21026614
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53235) - you deserved it (11343)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42600) - you deserved it (6398)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65648) - you deserved it (18713)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64497) - you deserved it (16381)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79816) - you deserved it (8243)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32945) - you deserved it (50828) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35796) - you deserved it (5171)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

#20445898
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23201) - you deserved it (1892)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

#20431269
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44335) - you deserved it (3446)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80176) - you deserved it (24600)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55496) - you deserved it (9867)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)



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