Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About jdimaria3 : My name is Joey. I like rock/metal music and video games.
My favorite bands include Avenged Sevenfold, Bullet For My Valentine. Breaking Benjamin, A Day To Remember, 30 Seconds To Mars, Asking Alexandria, As I Lay Dying, We Are The Ocean, U2, Iron Maiden, Confide, Secrets, etc.
My favorite games include Metal Gear Solid 4, Fallout3/New Vegas, Mass Effect 2/3, Minecraft, Batman Arkham Asylum/City, The Walking Dead, Guitar Hero/Rock Band, Resistance 2/3, Dragons Dogma, Red Dead Redemption, Need for Speed: Most Wanted, Call of Duty 4/World at War/MW2/Black Ops, etc.
If you want to add me on ps3, my PSN is JDefense96
If you want to add me on Steam, my account is fallout3masseffect2
If you want to know anything else, message me.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I realized my wedding ring had fallen off while doing yard work the previous day. Luckily, I only worked in a few areas, so I had high hopes of finding it. That is until a storm came through, blew half a foot of leaves all over the property, and then froze them with sleet. FML
Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML
Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML
Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
Friday 6 December 2013