Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About jdimaria3 : My name is Joey. I like rock/metal music and video games.
My favorite bands include Avenged Sevenfold, Bullet For My Valentine. Breaking Benjamin, A Day To Remember, 30 Seconds To Mars, Asking Alexandria, As I Lay Dying, We Are The Ocean, U2, Iron Maiden, Confide, Secrets, etc.
My favorite games include Metal Gear Solid 4, Fallout3/New Vegas, Mass Effect 2/3, Minecraft, Batman Arkham Asylum/City, The Walking Dead, Guitar Hero/Rock Band, Resistance 2/3, Dragons Dogma, Red Dead Redemption, Need for Speed: Most Wanted, Call of Duty 4/World at War/MW2/Black Ops, etc.
If you want to add me on ps3, my PSN is JDefense96
If you want to add me on Steam, my account is fallout3masseffect2
If you want to know anything else, message me.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
Today, my friend set up a profile for me on an adult dating site as a surprise. It was a surprise alright. The picture he set as my avatar was one of me stark naked, which I sent to my ex shortly before he dumped me. FML
Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML
Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML
Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML
Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I placed an order at a fast food joint, when the elderly lady behind me cussed me out for ordering the same thing she wanted. She ranted that I was a "dirty thief", while everyone else glared at me as if I was holding up the line. What the fuck? FML
Monday 5 October 2015