Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jdimaria3

Search for a member

jdimaria3

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7816
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jdimaria3 : My name is Joey. I like rock/metal music and video games.

My favorite bands include Avenged Sevenfold, Bullet For My Valentine. Breaking Benjamin, A Day To Remember, 30 Seconds To Mars, Asking Alexandria, As I Lay Dying, We Are The Ocean, U2, Iron Maiden, Confide, Secrets, etc.

My favorite games include Metal Gear Solid 4, Fallout3/New Vegas, Mass Effect 2/3, Minecraft, Batman Arkham Asylum/City, The Walking Dead, Guitar Hero/Rock Band, Resistance 2/3, Dragons Dogma, Red Dead Redemption, Need for Speed: Most Wanted, Call of Duty 4/World at War/MW2/Black Ops, etc.

If you want to add me on ps3, my PSN is JDefense96

If you want to add me on Steam, my account is fallout3masseffect2

If you want to know anything else, message me.

jdimaria3's page activity

Visits<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 1:50pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 1:25pm<b>NotsowiseSAGe</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 4:57pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 9:51pm<b>Zombiekilla3229</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 10:53am<b>ShinedownLuv</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 8:59pm<b>marykaitlyn</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 12:09pm<b>Celina_Lune</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 1:29pm<b>Austinc18</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 4:02pm<b>intheheart</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 8:43pm<b>UnoriGal</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 8:06pm<b>AppleJuiceBox</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 1:23pm<b>fmlinact</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 6:19pm<b>gmc_blossom</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 2:35am<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 9:49pm<b>blaackandprouud</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 2:40am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 7:30am<b>carry_on</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 3:38pm

jdimaria3's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of jdimaria3's badges

jdimaria3's favorite FMLs

Today, I came back from vacation only to find my 16-year-old son was throwing a party with over 30 kids in our house. My 33-year-old sister was having fun dancing on a table. FML

Today, I had to help my constipated dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML

Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML

#20800901
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61700) - you deserved it (5373)

On 07/24/2013 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Iamdisappointed (woman) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's boss. She was wondering if he was okay, since he hasn't shown up to work for the past two weeks. Now I'm wondering where he's been going when he leaves the house each day. FML

#20799589
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58952) - you deserved it (3911)

On 07/23/2013 at 3:03pm - love - by Hesintrouble (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML

#20798724
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47858) - you deserved it (26809)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend posted a screenshot from a porno on my Facebook, because the girl in it looked freakishly similar to me. My dad commented, asking for a link to the video. FML

#20797729
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52280) - you deserved it (4050)

On 07/22/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML

#20797604
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51514) - you deserved it (3904)

On 07/22/2013 at 1:47pm - work - by nowimbroketoo (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML

#20797503
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47063) - you deserved it (3183)

On 07/22/2013 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after a church service, a man approached me as I was walking to my car. He had tears in his eyes and politely asked if I would pray with him. He asked if we could hold hands. As I reached out to hold his hands, the bitch snatched my purse and ran. FML

#20797008
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45192) - you deserved it (7906)

On 07/22/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by HillaryAngelic (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to wake my mom up. While she was naked. On the toilet. FML

Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60226) - you deserved it (4381)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41631) - you deserved it (9007)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was working the drive-through at McDonald's. I greeted a customer with a, "Hi, how are you doing today?" His response: "Better than you." FML

#20795022
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46906) - you deserved it (7781)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was removing large shrubs from a house. I heard my co-worker yell something, but I couldn't hear him, so I just pulled the stump out anyway. What I realized too late was that he was telling me that there was a swarm of bees living behind the stump. FML

#20794428
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38903) - you deserved it (10627)

On 07/20/2013 at 5:44pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: