jbel08

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jbel08

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 August 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6912
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jbel08's page activity

Visits<b>HeatherFeatherB</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 12:25am<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 11:33pm<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 9:12am<b>alexfbrz</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 3:40pm<b>YveltalLugia</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 11:30pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 8:06pm<b>JavitheWrestler</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 10:57pm<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 7:59am<b>hullarms</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:56am<b>oliv34</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 3:32pm<b>Kejus</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:32am<b>mountainmanmike</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 9:03am<b>kiki1705</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 5:37pm<b>sam9697</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 11:56am<b>jeremy1993</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 2:05am<b>layt12345</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:35pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:13pm<b>andrew130</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 4:04pm

Fucked!<b>sam9697</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 5:56pm

jbel08's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jbel08's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML

by Loser / 05/12/2009 at 6:05pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML

by Sarah / 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm / United Kingdom (Bolton) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

by Ethan / 03/09/2009 at 9:35am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

by serverdessert / 03/08/2009 at 5:02pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I met this really attractive guy who introduced himself as Wyan. He was really cool and sweet and we got along pretty well. Then someone informed me that his name is Ryan and that he has a speech impediment, AFTER I had been referring to him as Wyan for quite some time. FML

by hellosaila / 02/27/2009 at 2:58am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

by beachbum / 02/27/2009 at 1:03am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML

by iailwkrb / 02/26/2009 at 11:08am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 10:30am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML

by Joe / 02/25/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML

by Noname / 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML

by Noname / 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

by Mick / 02/20/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told a girl I liked her. She replied, "Don't". FML

by grlks / 02/19/2009 at 2:08am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love