About jaywalton_4 : College kid...send money and ramen noodles
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jaywalton_4's favorite FMLs
by TuteSweet / 08/12/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. They grabbed and lifted me in the air, about to throw me in the pool. My iPhone was in my pocket, so I screamed "MY PHONE!" They paused so I could gently throw it onto a deck chair. It bounced, hit the concrete, and cracked its screen. FML
by howniceofyou / 08/01/2011 at 2:12pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was making pudding and accidentally spilt some on the floor. I had no idea until I slipped in it, throwing the bowl of pudding on my head. My mom promised to take me to the hospital as soon as she got a picture. FML
by Jenna / 06/29/2011 at 8:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
by Lonely / 06/16/2011 at 11:25pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
by notinthebutt / 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money
Today, it's memorial day weekend. The cops are all over the place watching for speeders and drunks. Some complete dickhead decided to spray paint "cop killa" on the side of my car. It won't come off. FML
by mperh / 05/28/2011 at 8:46am / United States / Transportation
Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML
by magicman / 04/26/2011 at 12:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Money
by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML
by FromNL / 03/25/2011 at 8:22am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Health
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/29/2011 at 3:09am / France / Animals
by Theaccident / 01/22/2011 at 5:03am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by me / 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm / United States / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, my husband decided to imitate Borat and shout "Very Nice! I Excite!" while having sex. He's… Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the… Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found…